Name: unnamed son
Other Names: unnamed baby; Jr.; Junior; Franklin Delanor Roosevelt
Publisher(s): McClintock High School
First Appearance: Writer's Block (2014)
Number of Appearances: 1
Teams/Affiliations: U.S. Army
Note: paralyzed, PTSD Vietnam vet; featured in Robert's play idea
A man's son was a central "character" in a play (or film?) that existed only in the minds of unsuccessful playwrights Milo and Robert. Robert's version of the play has the boy growing up to become the President of the United States. In Milo's concept for the production, the story never advances past the time that the son is still a baby - a baby played by diminutive actor Gary Coleman.
Robert told Milo the premise for his latest idea for the play they were working on together. As Robert narrated, the two "Actors" used silent, exaggerated pantomime to act out the characters and actions he describes.
Robert described his play: "It's about a husband and wife, but the husband is abusive. But then they have a baby. But it turns out that the mom dies during childbirth. But then an earthquake destroys their house, and they have to leave, and they go to live with their grandma, who was in the Holocaust. But the baby grows up, and it turns out he's gay. Oh, and his dad is super religious. So he doesn't know what to do. But then they go on a meaningful road trip, and the father dies of cancer. So then the son writes an essay about it, and he wins the Nobel Peace Prize. But he's not content. The essay can't bring his father back. So he joins the army, and goes to Vietnam. And when he comes back, he's paralyzed. But he's still gay, and he's also paralyzed and he has PTSD. And it ends up with him running for president, but being assassinated by his father, who had faked his own death. And then it turns out that this was the incredible true story of Franklin Delanor Roosevelt."
Robert's final line in describing this play identifies the son of the unnamed husband and wife as Franklin Delanor Roosevelt. But Robert's description of this son's life is so completely different from the actual life of that U.S. President that this can't be taken too seriously. The identification of the abusive husband's son as being the real-life U.S. President can be thought of as a funny joke, accentuating what has already been a patently ridiculous premise for a play.
After hearing Robert's premise for the play he has been "working on," Milo told his friend that he thought he saw that story on Lifetime once. By saying this, Milo was humorously poking fun at Robert's idea, suggesting that it was overly melodramatic, comparable to the women-marketed "life story" made-for-television movies frequently shown on the "Lifetime" cable television station.
Milo told Robert how he thought the play should go. Robert references the same characters (a husband and wife, their baby, and the grandma). But Milo's ideas for how the lives of these characters should chronicled in the play is extremely different. As Milo narrates his version of the play's basic plot, the same two "Actors" once again humorously pantomime the events and characters.
Milo said: "Okay so here's how I think it should go. So we got this couple right, and they're havin' fun. And then they decide to have a baby, and y'know it's like, a normal baby. But then their house, like, explodes one night randomly, and then we just se the baby like, grinning and stuff. And then they go to the grandma's house, right, and one night they hear screaming, and they go into grandma's room and Jr. is just like,stabbing grandma in the face! And it turns out he was possessed by a demon, so the couple has to like, fight it off."
Hearing his friend's take on the play, Robert looked doubtful, but he said that it sounded "really intense."
Milo countered, saying that his version of the play was an "outrageous comedy. See, the dad's gonna be played by Eddie Murphy and the mom will be Robin Williams in drag, and the baby will be Gary Coleman."
With this line, it became clear that Milo was not entirely clear in his own thinking whether he was conceiving of a play or a film.