Religion: not determined yet
Name: unnamed first astronaut
Publisher(s): McClintock High School
First Appearance: Writer's Block (2014)
Number of Appearances: 1
Enemy of: Evil Martian parasites
Ally: unnamed second astronaut
Note: went to Mars; subject of play Milo suggested
Unsuccessful playwrights Milo and Robert were desperately trying to come up with an idea for a play. Milo described his latest idea to Robert. As he spoke, the two generic Actors appeared on stage and silently pantomimed the characters and actions Milo described.
Milo said: "So it's the year 2057, and we have sent astronauts to Mars. They're up there, doing, y'know, science and stuff when suddenly one drops to the ground. So the first astronaut is like 'what's wrong dude?' and the second is like 'Oh no! It's in my brain!' which just straight horrifies the first dude. He looks behind him and BAM! He sees it. Evil Martian parasite. He pulls out his space gun and..."
Robert cut his writing partner off, frustrated at hearing yet another lowbrow idea rather than a concept for an artistic masterpiece. Robert said: "Milo!"
Milo asked: "What?"
Robert started to tell his friend, once again, about the serious type of play he thought they should be writing. He said: "I really think that--"
But then Robert's recent date's words came to his mind (in the form of an offstage voice). She had asked him whether people would rather see Hamlet or Dumb and Dumber.
Taking her words to heart, and deciding to give Milo's entertainment-oriented approach a chance, Robert said to Milo: "I really think we should go with it?"
Milo was surprised. He was accustomed to Robert shooting down every idea he had. Milo said: "Wait, what?"
Robert continued: "Yeah, I could really see this play being a hit. What did you call it?"
Milo told him: "Space Vixens from Planet Hell."
Robert started to seriously help Milo begin working on the play, but their writing session was interrupted by a knock at the door. Their successful associate (and rival) F. Jackson Hewitt was visiting them. Milo and Robert told Hewitt a little about their latest idea for a play. Hewitt chided them for their idea, sarcastically saying: "always aiming for the highbrow crowd, aren't we?"
After F. Jackson Hewitt left, Milo and Robert continued working on their play idea. Milo asked: "So when the first astronaut is killed by the parasites, the second guy is alone, right?"
Robert elaborated: "Yeah, I mean until the Space Vixens show up, but yeah."
Robert and Milo spent more time talking about their play, which Robert conceived as a pure entertainment piece, but which Milo thought had the potential to offer serious commentary on "how we're alone in this world, as in that world."