Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
Season 3, Episode 1 (17 Sep. 1995): “We Have a Lot to Talk About”
by John McNamara, Philip Sgriccia

Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - Season 3, Episode 1

Title: “We Have a Lot to Talk About”

Medium: television series episode

Original airdate: 17 Sep. 1995

Publisher:
Written by: John McNamara
Directed by: Philip Sgriccia

6 characters in this story:

Character (Click links for info about character and his/her religious practice, affiliation, etc.)	Religious Affiliation	Team(s) [Notes]	Pub.	# app.
Superman (Clark Kent)	Methodist / Kryptonian religion	Kryptonians; Super Friends...  The Justice League		13,409
Lois Lane	Catholic	Raleigh College [Superman's girlfriend, then wife]		3,859
Jimmy Olsen	Lutheran	The Legion of Super-Heroes [Superman's pal]		1,896
Perry White	Baptist; Elvis worship (ordained)	[Superman's (Clark Kent's) boss; Daily Planet editor]		1,574
Jonathan Kent	Methodist	[Superman's adoptive father]		816
Martha Kent	Methodist	[Superman's adoptive mother]		827

Timecode: 0 minutes, 0 seconds: Lois Lane and Clark Kent together walk together in a park at night time.

Clark Kent: Lois, I've been thinking.

Lois Lane: Me, too.

Clark Kent: What about?

Lois Lane: You first.

Clark Kent: Okay. Sometimes . . . You think you're immortal. And you start to think that the people around you are, too. It just . . . takes a second to realize how wrong you are . . . about how, about everything.

[Lois Lane doesn't say anything. It is a tender moment between the two. Clark Kent takes Lois by the hand and leads her to sit down on a park bench. Suddenly lightning strikes and thunder can be heard. Clark looks up into the sky. He lets out an amused breath. He addresses God directly as rain starts to pour on the couple.]

Clark Kent: Oh. Come on! Give me a break.

[Clark Kent feels like now, as has happened so many times in the past, the universe itself seems to be conspiring to prevent him pledging his eternal love to the woman he loves. He feels as if he has worked hard to do the right things and obey God's commandments and now he asks God for one little favor, to let him get through this moment. Lois Lane laughs when she hears Clark plead with the Heavens.]

Lois Lane: Do you want to go back?

Clark Kent: If the Earth opened up at my feet, I wouldn't move until I said this.

[Clark Kent sighs. Rain is pouring down heavily now, drenching both of them. Clark knees on one knee. From his pocket he retrieves a rink case.]

Clark Kent: Lois . . .

[Clark Kent opens the ring case, displaying the diamond ring inside.]

Clark Kent: Will you marry me?

[Lois takes the ring case in her hand and looks at it. She smiles at Clark.]

Lois Lane: Who's asking . . . Clark . . . [Lois pulls the glasses of Clark Kent's face] or Superman?

[Thus we see, for the first time (well, in continuing continuity in this series), that Lois Lane knows that Clark Kent is really Superman.]

[Roll opening credits.]

Timecode: 3 minutes, 8 seconds: Clark Kent and Lois Lane run from the rain and seek refuge at the top of the steps of a large building. Both are smiling and generally very happy, despite the seriousness of the conversation they are about to have.]

Clark Kent: It's the new glasses, isn't it? They just don't work as well as the old ones did. [Pause] Okay. I guess the first question is: How long have you known?

Lois Lane: Really? I would have thought it would have been: How did I figure it out?

Clark Kent: It's kind of neck and neck with: How mad are you?

Lois Lane: Let's save that one for last.

Clark Kent: Okay.

[Lois Lane sighs, then sneezes. She is still soaked in rain water, and it is night time. Clark Kent uses his heat vision to warm her body and dry the water from her clothes.]

Lois Lane: Thanks. [Pause] So . . . How long have I known? Since yesterday. How did I figure it out? When you did this. [She touches her hand to his face, reminding him of when he did the same to her, both as Clark and Superman.] You've touched me before . . . Both of you. But, I guess, um, almost dying, sort of heightened everything. All my senses. Sort of like putting on a pair of glasses. [Lois Lane puts Clark's glasses back on his face. The rain stops pouring.] It's stopped.

Clark Kent: So . . . How mad are you?

Lois Lane: I'm not mad.

Clark Kent: Excuse me?

Lois Lane: I'm not mad at all.

Clark Kent: Lois, this is not really a time to hold back.

Lois Lane: I'm not.

Clark Kent: I'm sorry. I was talking to Lois Lane. She was here a second ago, and I know she wouldn't really react--

Lois Lane: I'm hurt.

Clark Kent: Oh.

Lois Lane: I'm really, really hurt.

Clark Kent: Which is gonna be worse than mad, isn't it? Okay, Lois, okay. I've been rehearsing this for months. Let's see if I can get it right. I know this is a shock, and I wanted to be the one to tell you, so you could understand how hard this has been for me, how I've carried this secret, by myself. And how long I have wanted to tell you. But when I decided to become Superman, I--

Lois Lane: Became a target. And so anybody close to you became a target. And it just got more complicated when you realized you loved me.

Clark Kent: Which was about two minutes after I met you.

Lois Lane: Heh. Don't try and score points.

Clark Kent: Sorry.

Lois Lane: Look, I get it. I really do. It's logical, it's, uh, it's even thoughtful. It's just that when you get right down to it, you made me believe that you were two different people, and you did that by lying. And that makes me feel like I don't know you, and that really hurts me. And you know what? I am mad. I am really mad. I am really, really mad. Clark, I'm just furious.

Clark Kent: Go head. Lois, get it out.

[They both hear the shouts of a man crying for help. Lois Lane knows what Superman - what Clark - MUST do. He can't help himself, even in the middle of an important conversation like this. She instantly tells Clark to go.]

Lois Lane: Go.

[Clark gives Lois a pleading look, begger her to understand.]

Lois Lane: Go!

[Clark whirls around, changing into Superman before her eyes. He rushes off.]

Lois Lane: Wow!

[Superman rushes to a nearby street where a pair of men wearing nice dark suits have apprehended a scraggly-looking man holding a knife. The scraggly-looking man had attempted to mug a short man in torn clothes. At first, Superman doesn't realize what has happened. He tells the two men in dark suits to let the scraggly-looking man go.]

Superman: Let him go.

Short crime victim: No. Superman. They saved me. I was walking home. And this guy jumped me. And these two came out of nowhere. If it wasn't for them I'd--

[One of the nearly dressed men in dark suits addresses Superman. We can see that the man's suit jacket has the letter "C" under a city skyline logo emblazoned on the front breast pocket.]

Church Group representative: Hello, Superman. [Hands Superman a business card.] We're members of the Church Group.

Superman: The Church Group? As in Bill Church?

[Lois Lane catches up to Superman, having followed him here.]

Lois Lane: As in Intergang?

Church Group representative: Mr. Church wants Metropolis to be a better place to live. And he's committed his fortune to that end.

[The Church Group representative speaking to Superman uses his hightech watch to signal various similarly-attired young men and women stationed around the city block. They all listen to the man's words on their compact radio systems, which they listen to in their ears.]

Church Group representative: Situation green. Continue patrols.

Lois Lane: So you're some sort of vigilante group? Church's private stormtroopers? Well, that's against the law.

Church Group representative: Miss, if you'd like to check with the police, you'll find we're operating under their approval. [Addressing his partner, a black man in similar attire who has handcuffed the would-be mugger.] Let's get this man into custody. [Addressing the victim, who was roughed up by the mugger.] Sir, come with us. The police will need your statement. [Starts walking away with the victim, but turns back and addresses Superman.] Superman, thanks for trying to help.

[The Church Group representatives, the mugger they apprehended and the victim all get into a large car with the Church Group logo on the door.]

Lois Lane: Well, I got to give Church and his son some credit. They love Metropolis and never stop trying to take it over.

Superman: Hm. I should probably take a look around the city, just to make sure everything's all right. But I don't want to fly off with you mad.

Lois Lane: I'm not mad. Okay, I am. It's all right, I just . . . It was easier talking to Clark.

Superman: [Looking down at himself and back at Lois.] You still are.

Lois Lane: See, that's just it. I-- I-- I don't know any more.

Superman: Let me prove it to you.

[Superman shows her the wedding ring once again. She is moved, but also upset and conflicted.]

Lois Lane: [sighs] No. I mean-- I mean I can't . . . yet. I just, uh, I need time to think.

[Superman snaps the ring case shut with a perturbed look on his face. Lois sees that he is feeling hurt.]

Lois Lane: Clark. You understand?

Superman: Sure.

Lois Lane: I mean, so you're not upset?

Superman: I asked, you answered. [Starts to walk away.]

Lois Lane: Well, I'm the one who was lied to. Don't get petulent with me.

Superman: Oh, okay, I see. So it's okay for you to get mad. But I'm not supposed to feel anything when you say--

Lois Lane: All I'm saying is it's too much, too fast.

Superman: Right. I get it.

Lois Lane: No, I don't think you do.

Superman: No, I do get it, Lois. It's fine.

[They look at each other. Really, Superman seems kind of immature here. Lois doesn't know what to say to him.]

Superman: Now, I-- I really should, you know . . . [makes a flying motion with his hand] check the city.

[Superman flies away.]

Lois Lane: [looking at him as he goes] That is so unfair. You know I can't fly.

Timecode: 10 minutes, 11 seconds: An elevator door opens. Bill Church's son (Bill Church Jr., played by actor Bruce Campbell) enters the secret lair of Bill Church (played by actor Peter Boyle). The elder Bill Church is publicly the CEO of the world-spanning retail chain Cost Mart and secretly the head of the world-spanning organized crime syndicate Intergang.

Bill Church Jr: Dad?

Bill Church Sr: Son, it's so good to see you. [Shakes his son's hand] How was Tokyo?

Bill Church Jr: Uh, well, the little territory spat with the Yakuza's all settled. The stores are going up. The foreign minister took the bribe.

[Bill Church Jr. notices that his father seems different than usual. Bill Church Sr. is smiling. He seems happy, despite the fact that he is now recovering from a serious hospital stay.]

Bill Church Jr: How are you feeling?

Bill Church Sr: The doctors say I'm doing great. A new heart, a new man. That's my motto these days. Ah, Billy . . . I got so much to tell you, I don't know where to start.

[The son notices that workmen are radically changing things in his father's secret Intergang office. They are removing and replacing equipment and furniture.]

Bill Church Jr: Uh, what are you doing to your office?

Bill Church Sr: Well, that's part of what I want to tell you.

[The voice of a young woman is heard from across the room.]

Mindy: Hunky!

Bill Church Sr: [Addressing the woman.] Mindy!

[The camera cuts to a beautiful young woman. She seems to be in her twenties, obviously decades younger than Bill Church Senior. She looks like a model and wears a somewhat skimpy dress. Upon seeing her, Bill Church Junior realizes that his father's changed demeanor must be due in part to his having met and begun a relationship with this woman. The look on the son's face tells us that he probably thinks this new woman is a gold-digger - somebody interested in his father only for the older man's money. Bill Church Senior is completely unaware of this, however.]

Bill Church Jr: Oh, no!

[Mindy rushes over to Bill Church Senior and kisses him on the lips while putting her arm around his neck.]

Bill Church Sr: Billy, I want you to meet your new stepmom.

Bill Church Jr: Step--

Mindy: Oh, hello, Billy. Your dad's told me so much about you.

Bill Church Jr: Well, that certainly gives you the advantage, uh, Mindy.

Bill Church Sr: Son, I know what you're thinking. The old man's gone soft since the heart attack. Married his pretty nurse, and now he's a few grapes shy of a bunch. But I want to tell you I've never seen things clearer. I've never felt with more absolute fervor my true destiny.

Bill Church Jr: I'm guessing I'll need a drink.

[The son proceeds to walk across the room to get an alcoholic beverage.]

Bill Church Sr: We're criminals. Greedy, opportunistic vermin preying on innocent people.

[Bill Church Jr. sees nothing wrong with the fact that they are criminals.]

Bill Church Jr: And?

Bill Church Sr: I can't do it any more.

Bill Church Jr: What, so you want to retire?

Bill Church Sr: I want to dismantle Intergang. I want to pull the plug on this whole stinking operation. And I want to use our resources to make the world a better place.

[Bill Church looks at his dad and then looks over at Mindy. Then he breaks out in long, sincere laughter. What his father has just told him seems so completely nonsensical that his brain can only understand it as a joke. He laughs. His father laughs with him, out of joy. But then as Bill Church Jr. notices the look on his father's face, he realizes that his father is NOT joking. The son stops laughing. The father's face turns absolutely serious.]

Bill Church Jr: You're serious.

Bill Church Sr: Totally.

Bill Church Jr: [sighs] Between the jet lag and the airplane food I think I'm taking this pretty well.

Bill Church Sr: I've earmarked $500 million dollars to establish the Church Group.

[Bill Church walks over to a large wall-hung map of Metropolis which illustrates his plan. The map shows Church Group centers located throughout the city - at least 16 are visibly marked on the map.]

Bill Church Sr: Four thousand men and women patrolling Metropolis with the singular purpose of making this the safest place on Earth.

Bill Church Jr: Boy, you shell out some pretty good drugs in that hospital, don't you Min?

Mindy: What?

[In Mindy's response, as in everything else Bill Church Jr. has seen her do thus far, the woman seems completely vacuous.]

Bill Church Jr: Exactly.

[End of scene.]

Timecode: 13 minutes, 4 seconds: Clark Kent enters the Daily Planet offices. He seems tense. He walks right past Lois Lane. Serious personal thoughts are on her mind, too.

Lois Lane: Hi.

Clark Kent: Hi.

[Lois Lane stands up and walks over to Clark. She attemps to kiss him when she reaches him. He turns aside to prevent her from doing so. Lois is shocked when Clark does this.]

Lois Lane: [Her tone of voice changed from warm to more formal.] Hi.

[Clark Kent reaches out his hand and Lois Lane shakes it. This is not the type of behavior Lois Lane expects from a man who asked her to marry him the night before.]

Lois Lane: So, I, um, called you last night. A couple times.

Clark Kent: Yeah, I was, uh . . . [Makes a flying motion with his hand, to indicate that he was busy as Superman.]

Lois Lane: Anything happen?

Clark Kent: No, it was pretty quiet. I want to keep an eye on that Church Group. There's sure a lot of those guys.

[The look on Lois Lane's face tells us that she realizes Clark is putting up emotional barriers right now. He isn't going to talk to her about their relationship right now, about his marriage proposal and her telling him she couldn't say yes yet. So Lois resigns herself to discussing work matters, even though she is feeling rather uncomfortable about the way Clark is acting toward her. Lois knows that Clark has been avoiding her. He didn't need to be out last night. He didn't want to receive he phone call.]

Lois Lane: Yeah, uh, I was doing some research on them. [Walks over to her desk, retrieves some files, and hands them to Clark.] Here.

Clark Kent: Thanks.

Lois Lane: Look, um . . . Last night we both got pretty emotional. It's understandable, I guess. It's just, I feel a lot clearer today.

Clark Kent: [Abruptly, without warmth] Great. Me, too.

[Clark walks away from Lois, and sits at his desk.]

Clark Kent: Oh, look at this. [Reading the files Lois gave him.] Completely legitimate, huh? Funded entirely by Church. Look at this board that he's assembled. A former governor, a vice president, a general.

Lois Lane: Yeah. It's got a nice, polite exterior.

[Lois Lane's words here have a double meaning. The "nice, polite exterior" can describe what Lois Lane things of Bill Church's Church Group. But she is really thinking that these words apply to how Clark Kent is acting right now. Clark is acting nice and polite on the outside, but Lois thinks that inside Clark is anything but that right now. Lois is very unhappy about the way Clark is acting toward her.]

Clark Kent: [referring to the Church Group] Let's see what's under the surface.

Lois Lane: [With a serious tone of voice.] Clark--

[Clark Kent holds up his hand and cocks his head. He PRETENDS to be using his super-hearing to hear a call for help. He is making an excuse to get away from Lois before she can continue a pointedly personal conversation or ask him any pointed questions about why he is avoiding her.]

Clark Kent: You know what? Can you go this alone a little bit longer? I hear a siren.

Lois Lane: But--

[Clark Kent rushes out of the room, leaving behind a visibly disapointed Lois Lane.]

Timecode: 14 minutes, 28 seconds: Lois Lane, still in the Daily Planet offices, listens to a TV report.

Grant Burton (TV reporter): Of course, it is now becoming a well known fact that our streets are dramatically safer from crime. But the Church Group doesn't stop there. They've taken it on themselves to offer free auto assistance, safety checks of homes, businesses, and all manner of public transportation, management of busy intersections, teaching kids about community service, taxis for the elderly and the infirm. Even going so far as guaranteeing food freshness in restaurants and grocery stores. The polls indicate the citizens have never felt safer.

[Lois Lane listens to this report with interest. It is an unusual thing that is happening. Lois picks up a Daily Planet newspaper and notices the headline mentions the incident she was at last night: Church Member Stops Mugging.]

[End of scene.]

Timecode: 15 minutes, 16 seconds: At a time that Bill Church Jr. walks by her desk, Mindy pretends to cry. As Mindy planned, Bill Church Jr. asks what is wrong, and Mindy thus ropes him into conversation. She talks to Bill Church Jr. in a seductive and conspiratorial way. She makes sure that Bill Church Jr. understands that she will help him in a coming up with a plan to wrest control of Intergang from Bill Church Senior. Mindy acts like a brainless airhead, but she is clearly quite crafty. As she hatches a plan with her "son-in-law," it becomes clear that Mindy and Bill Church Jr. are both quite evil. They see the elder Bill Church's newfound humanitarian outlook as an obstacle to their continued continued wealth and criminal power. They want to put a stop to Bill Church Senior's new plans, even if it means killing hundreds of people to do so.

Mindy: I think your father's very sick.

Bill Church Jr: Sick? How?

Mindy: Well, he's going crazy. He keeps talking about his new mission. And the way he's spending money--

Bill Church Jr: Yeah, yeah. I've seen the reports.

Mindy: He just bought half a museum in London because he wanted to be surrounded by beauty. Oh, if this keeps up there won't be anything left for us.

Bill Church Jr: Well, the thought had occurred to me. I--

Mindy: Oh, well, I'm just his wife. I don't understand all this business. But I really think it'd be best for everybody if maybe he . . .

Bill Church Jr: Yes?

Mindy: Retired.

Bill Church Jr: And I ran things the way they should be?

Mindy: Mmm.

Bill Church Jr: Well, he's not just gonna step down.

Mindy: Oh, I know. I'll do anything you say, Billy.

Bill Church Jr: Anything?

[Mindy grabs Bill Church Junior's face and begins to kiss him passionately. He pushes her away.]

Bill Church Jr: Wait a minute. You're married to my father!

Mindy: Uhh . . .

Bill Church Jr: Ooh, this is great.

[Bill Church Jr. pulls Mindy back to him and begins kissing her passionately. Clearly the idea of making time with is father's beautiful bride has great appeal to him.]

[End of scene.]

Timecode: 16 minutes, 57 seconds: Daily Planet office.

Perry White: Please. Please tell me you're working on a story full of mayhem and scandal.

Lois Lane: No such luck.

Perry White: Huh. Boy, tomorrow's lead's gonna read: "Girl Scout Jamboree Big Success." This keeps up, we're gonna have a one-page City Section.

Jimmy Olsen: Hey, hold up, Chief. Why does the news always have to be bad? Why can't we report on all the good things that happen?

Perry White: Jimmy, you've been sniffing Linotype. This is a newspaper. It's either catastrophe or atrophy.

Lois Lane: I know the Churches are up to something. I just can't get a fix on it. I put in a call to Bobby Bigmouth, but I haven't heard back.

Perry White: Well . . . Maybe it'd help if I set up an interview with my old golfing buddy Bill Church. See if you and Clark can find the skunk in the rose garden, so to speak . . . Speaking of Clark, uh, I haven't seem him around here too much lately. Uh, ahem, is he okay? Uh, well, uh, professionally speaking, of course.

Lois Lane: Yeah, we're just both, uh, trying to get our facts straight so we can [sighs] figure out what's going on, make some decisions.

Jimmy Olsen: Hmm.

Lois Lane: About the story.

Jimmy Olsen: Right.

Perry White: Oh, yeah.

Jimmy Olsen: Absolutely.

Lois Lane: The story.

[Lois Lane walks away. Jimmy Olsen and Perry White make funny faces at each other. They obviously know that there are some intense personal things going on right now between Lois Lane and Clark Kent. They humored Lois when she attempted to say that she was thinking about the news story when she spoke of herself and Clark. But Jimmy and Perry obviously know better.]

[Lois Lane walks across the room to where she can see and hear a TV news report.]

Grant Burton (TV reporter): It has to make you wonder. With all the good work being done by the Church Group, what's left for Superman to do these days?

Timecode: 18 minutes, 24 seconds: Cut to a park where children are playing baseball. Superman is acting as umpire. Except, he wasn't really asked to do so. Superman seems like something of a busybody, and the kids don't enjoy having him there, so they pick up their equipment and leave to go play somewhere else. Superman is left feeling somewhat dejected.

Timecode: 19 minutes, 2 seconds: In the parking lot of a Cost Mart store, Bill Church Sr. talks to his son about a large shipment of fine art that has been delivered there.

Bill Church Sr: For just a few hundred million, we can have all of this beauty.

Bill Church Jr: Oh, the bargain of the century.

Bill Church Sr: I mean, what have I been doing with money all these years? Hoarding, investing. It's ridiculous.

Bill Church Jr: Oh, preposterous. Ha ha ha ha.

Bill Church Sr: I'm glad you've come around, son.

Bill Church Jr: Well, I had a nice long talk with the newest Mrs. Church.

[Mindy walks up to them. Bill Church Jr. pulls out two cigars from his pocket and offers his father one.]

Bill Church Jr: Say, Dad, can I tempt you?

Bill Church Sr: Well, uh, if it's all right with the nurse?

[Mindy smiles and nods her head yes.]

Bill Church Sr: Okay. Ha ha ha ha.

Bill Church Jr: Oh, she can be very persuasive.

Bill Church Sr: Don't I know it? [laughs]

Mindy: Uh, Honey Bun, the men with the Rodin wanted to see you about the bill.

Bill Church Sr: Mmm. Isn't she wonderful?

[Bill Church Sr. walks away, leaving Bill Church Jr. and Mindy to conspire together.]

Mindy: I have a kind of a thought.

Bill Church Jr: [looking at Mindy's body] Yeah, me too.

Mindy: This thought's business. Your dad keeps talking about having this fund raiser. And so maybe it could be at a museum, and maybe the museum could be full of really important people and, you know, art. And then, maybe it could, I don't know, blow up, which would maybe--

Bill Church Jr: Which would maybe make the cops think Dad did it to increase the value of his own burgeoning collection? You expect me to frame my own father for the murder of hundreds of innocent people?!

Mindy: Uh-huh.

Bill Church Jr: [laughs] I love it! The whole thing is just so Greek. Off he goes to a nice cozy jail. Of course he'd have to turn the business over to us.

Mindy: Oh, I hadn't thought of that part. That's good. That's really good.

Bill Church Jr: Yeah. Now all we need is a good explosives man.

Timecode: 20 minutes, 55 seconds: Lois Lane approaches Clark Kent in a parking lot of the Cost Mart store where they are meeting Bill Church Sr. for a lunch interview.

Lois Lane: So, you been pretty busy?

Clark Kent: Yeah. Pretty busy.

Lois Lane: Mm-hm. Doing what exactly? It's been pretty slow around here, action-wise.

Clark Kent: Well . . .

Lois Lane: You wouldn't be using your other identity to avoid talking to me, would you?

Clark Kent: Heh. Look, Lois, there's certain things about me being . . . Superman that you're just gonna have to get used to?

Lois Lane: Really? Like the urgent need to umpire a kid's baseball game for two hours?

Clark Kent: You know, that was a very tense situation. The kids were yelling at each other, and they had bats and stuff and--

Lois Lane: Clark, what is wrong? Why won't you talk to me?

Clark Kent: What is there to talk about, Lois? I asked you to marry me, you said no.

Lois Lane: I didn't say never.

Clark Kent: Because you found out something about me that you just don't like.

Lois Lane: No, that's true. I did not say that.

Clark Kent: I can not change who I am and I can not change what I've done--

Bill Church Sr: Lois! Clark!

[Bill Church holds out his hand to them and shakes their hands, greeting them warmly.]

Bill Church Sr: Wonderful to see you. Come, there's something you've got to see. Come.

[Bill Church Sr. pours two glasses of lemonade for Lois and Clark.]

Bill Church Sr: And every CostMart is gonna have a display of the world's great art. So people can shop for bargains and experience the beauty of culture at the same time.

Lois Lane: Must be costing you a fortune.

Bill Church Sr: The one thing I've learned from my wife. You don't ask the price when the reward is joy. Right, Pookey?

Mindy: Right, Hunky.

[Bill Church Sr. and Mindy giggle together and nuzzle noses affectionately. Lois Lane and Clark Kent are visibly uncomfortable at this display, as their own relationship is very much at the forefront of their mind.]

Clark Kent: Mr. Church, given the allegations that you're involved in Intergang--

Bill Church Sr: You know, there's one thing I've found, is that when you're married to someone you love, it's like nothing else in the world. It's-- It's life-altering. It's soul-changing. It's the summit of all human desire. And when you finally achieve it, it's as if mind and body finally merge, and you're set free.

Mindy: Totally.

Bill Church Sr: [Holding out a plate of cookies for Lois and Clark.] Cookie? They're low fat.

Lois Lane: Thanks, no. Back to the Intergang allegations--

Mindy: Hey, you guys a thing?

Lois Lane: Excuse me?

Mindy: You going out? You seem like a thing. Not a very happy thing, but . . . Oh, look, Hunky, she's blushing. [Giggles]

[Clark Kent sighs. he and Lois are both embarrassed that Mindy, an apparently vapid woman who they just barely met, was able to see right through them and understand their personal relationship by looking at their faces.]

Timecode: 23 minutes, 7 seconds: Lois and Clark walk away from CostMart, discussing what just happened.]

Lois Lane: Clark, do you realize what just happened? We were sent to investigate, and we spent the whole time wallowing. We wallowed. I hate wallowers, and that's what we've turned into. A couple of sighing, slack-jawed, self-pitying wallowers.

Clark Kent: Well, for whatever it's worth, I x-rayed beneath the store and I found evidence of machinery being dismantled. So Church could be telling the truth.

Lois Lane: Are you kidding? Next you're gonna be telling me you bought that lovey-dovey newlywed spew.

Clark Kent: Well, you know, I do hope that being married to someone does change your life, make you look at things in a new way.

Lois Lane: Well, don't you think a big part of that love change is communication, getting things out in the open.

Clark Kent: I did get things out in the open. Starting with: "Will you marry me?"

Lois Lane: No, I did, starting with: "You are Superman."

Clark Kent: A little louder. I don't think they heard you in Gotham City.

Lois Lane: Speaking of which . . . When were you planning on telling me? The honeymoon? Our first anniversary? When the kids started flying around the house?

Clark Kent: First, I needed to know that you'd marry me. Not Superman, not his powers, just me -- Clark. I needed to know that, okay? Then I was gonna tell you everything.

Lois Lane: Well, I guess we'll never know, will we?

Clark Kent: I guess we won't.

[Lois Lane goes to unlock her car.]

Lois Lane: Are you coming?

Clark Kent: No, I think I'll just . . . [makes a flying motion with his hand.]

Lois Lane: Fine.

Clark Kent: Fine.

[Lois Lane drives away. Neither of them look happy. Clark Kent pulls the diamond ring out of his pocket. He looks around him to make sure nobody is watching. Then he throws the ring into outer space. Cut to outerspace, in orbit around Earth. We see Supeman catching the ring. He couldn't quite bring himself to really throw it away. He grabs the ring and flies back down to Earth.]

Timecode: 25 minutes, 22 seconds: Clark Kent is in his apartment, talking to his parents on the phone.

Clark Kent: It's like we-- w both, all of a sudden, aren't even sure that we like each other.

Martha Kent: Oh, well, you have to remember that she has a lot to think about.

Jonathan Kent: Yeah, you both do. You're taking some big steps. It's bound to be scary.

Clark Kent: I guess.

Martha Kent: Oh, honey, you sound so sad.

Jonathan Kent: How are things in Metropolis? Still slow?

Clark Kent: Well, today I spent two hours polishing my boots, an hour ironing my "S." Saved a runaway hamster from a cat.

[In the Kent farmhouse, the looks on the faces of Clark's parents show they are clearly concerned about him. They are concerned both about his relationship with Lois as well as his apparent depression over not being needed as Superman.]

Martha Kent: [speaking to Jonathan, covering the telephone mouthpiece so Clark can't hear her] You make the reservations. I'll pack.

Clark Kent: Tightened my glasses. Pretty exciting, huh?

[End of scene.]

Timecode: 26 minutes, 4 seconds: Inside Lois Lane's apartment. Bobby Bigmouth, an informant that Lois Lane uses frequently, is in her apartment. He is looking in her refrigerator and dismayed at the lack of food there.

Bobby Bigmouth: Pickles and mustard? All you got is pickles and mustard? What kind of person lives like this? If my mother saw this, she'd put a curse on you.

Lois Lane: We can order takout.

Bobby Bigmouth: Waitaminute. You don't have any crackers? No nuts?

Lois Lane: [looking in her freezer] Ice?

Bobby Bigmouth: Come on, what am I, a beverage? No, it's all right. It's okay. I've been feeling lately that this, uh, food obsession of mine is masking a deeper emotional trauma.

Lois Lane: Bobby, really?

Bobby Bigmouth: No, actually I'm trying to talk myself out of eating your chair. Anyway, about your query. I got a tip the Church boys reached out to Joe Arlo.

Lois Lane: I know that name.

Bobby Bigmouth: Yeah, he's an explosives expert out of Atlanta. His nickname--

Lois Lane: Joe the Blow. Used to work for the CIA.

Bobby Bigmouth: Hey, you're quick. Anyway, look, he just flew in. [Drops a piece of paper in front of Lois.] That's where he's staying. Good luck.

[Bobby Bigmouth stands up and heads to the door.]

Lois Lane: Thanks.

Bobby Bigmouth: I'm not just doin' this for you. Hey, if this town remains crime-free, I'll be living on three meals an hour.

[Bobby Bigmouth leaves, closing the door behind him. Lois Lane picks up the phone, starting to call Clark Kent. Then she has second thoughts and hangs up the phone without dialing.]

Lois Lane: No. It will be smoother if I'm partner-free tonight.

[End of scene.]

Timecode: 27 minutes, 14 seconds: Joe "the Blow" Arlo assembles a bomb in his hotel room. He stands up and leaves. A moment later, a knock is heard on the door. It is Lois Lane. Lois enters the room. She is dressed as a housekeeper. She looks through the room for clues. A hidden camera catches her doing it. In the next scene, Bill Church Jr. hands Mindy a stack of photos showing Lois looking through Joe Arlos' room. Bill Church Jr. and Mindy realize that the reporter Lois Lane is on to Joe the Blow. They discuss what to do. Mindy continues to play dumb, but really is instrumental in making their plans.

Mindy: Well, I know I'm kinda new at all this business talk, but is it a big problem killing her?

Bill Church Jr: She's kind of tight with Superman. It makes it complicated.

Mindy: Unless . . .

Bill Church Jr: Yes?

Mindy: You came up with a some kind of really brilliant way of keeping him busy, like getting him out of town by causing some kind of big disaster someplace else.

[In the next scene we see that the two of them plotted a dangerous gas leak at a nuclear plant in Philadelphia, which later in the episode does indeed get Superman out of town while they put Lois Lane's life in jeopardy. Superman puts a stop to the disaster in Philadelphia and manages to get back to Metropolis to save her from a bomb planted in her apartment by Joe "the Blow" Arlo.]

Timecode: 31 minutes, 34 seconds: Superman returns to Lois Lane's apartment after rushing the bomb high into the air seconds before it exploded, almost killing Lois Lane in her apartment.

Superman: Are you all right?

Lois Lane: Fine. Thanks.

Superman: What is it?

Lois Lane: What is what?

Superman: Come on, Lois. I know that look.

Lois Lane: I'm not giving you any look.

Superman: Exactly. It's your "Not giving me any look" look.

Lois Lane: Well, since you asked . . . What took you an hour?

Superman: A nuclear reactor was melting down in Philadelphia. What's your point?

Lois Lane: I just think maybe you're taking my jeopardy a little for granted these days.

Superman: What?!

Lois Lane: You know, I can understand. It's not the same new, sizzling romance. I don't look at you like some moony-eyed cheerleader. And maybe you see me differently, too. I'm just good 'ol Lois. Get to me whenever.

Superman: That's ridiculous.

Lois Lane: Well, just food for thought. Anyway, if you're not too busy, maybe we should try and find the guy who did this.

[Lois shoves a broom into Superman's hands and storms away, heading to her room to change into clean clothes. Superman starts sweeping up the mess from when he burst through Lois Lane's window to rescue her from the bomb.]

Superman: [to himself] All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.

[End of scene.]

Timecode: 32 minutes, 41 seconds: Bill Church Sr. walks with his wife Mindy and his son in front of a museum.

Bill Church Sr: This is going to be the greatest party ever. Great art, great food, lots of money raised for the Church Group.

Mindy: And everyone is going to love the new you as much as I do, Hunky.

Bill Church Jr: About as much as we do, Dad.

[Bill Church Sr. looks across the street and sees a man delivering helium balloons out of a truck.]

Bill Church Sr: Look. Balloons. You know, I'm gonna go buy them all and give them to the children.

[After Bill Church Sr. walks away, a look of disgust shows on the faces of both Mindy and Bill Church Jr. They clearly think that this newfound altruism is a sign of insanity on the part of their father. They can not comprehend that a man like Bill Church Sr. could be genuinely repentant and committed to goodness.]

Bill Church Jr: Oh, he's losing brain cells by the second.

Mindy: Well, as crazy as he is, he can still read a paper. If Lois Lane publishes what she knows--

Bill Church Jr: She still doesn't know anything, except that she's about to get an invitation to a party she won't be able to resist.

Mindy: And what about Superman?

Bill Church Jr: Oh, we plan just a little better for him this time.

[End of scene.]

[Bill Church Jr. and Mindy plot to invite Lois Lane to the big fund raiser that Bill Church Sr. is organizing. They plan to set a trap to kill her there in the exlposion that will kill the other attendees and destroy the art there.]

Timecode: 33 minutes, 43 seconds: Lois Lane discusses her case so far with Perry White in his office. Note the framed photo of Perry's idol, Elvis Presley, sitting above Perry's shoulder behind where he sits. Perry, Clark and Lois all received invitations to the fund raising party at the museum. They plan to attend, but Perry says they'll invite the Metropolis Bomb Squad there as well. Based on what Lois found in Joe Blow's hotel room (materials for creating a bomb and plans to the museum), she knows there is something of an explosive nature being planned.

Timecode: 34 minutes, 15 seconds: Lois Lane is in her apartment when she hears a knock at her door. She answers the door. It is Clark Kent's mother, Martha Kent.

Lois Lane: Martha?

Martha Kent: I know it's rude to stop by without calling first, and even ruder to stick my nose in where it doesn't belong but I--

Lois Lane: Clark told you.

[Martha Kent nods her head yes.]

Lois Lane: Everything?

[Martha looks around and draws an S on her chest, indicating that, yes, she knows all about Clark Kent being Superman. Lois Lane sighs, but then smiles. She is probably glad to have somebody to talk things over with.]

Lois Lane: Come on in.

[Cut to Clark Kent's apartment, where Clark's father is having a similar "pep talk" conversation with him.]

Jonathan Kent: Son, I never told you this before, but your mother turned me down the first time I asked her to marry me.

Clark Kent: [very surprised] What? Your kidding?

Jonathan Kent: [chuckles] No. Actually, the first two times.

Clark Kent: What did you do?

Jonathan Kent: Ah, I sulked. Dove into my work. Unfortunately, it was winter. So I looked pretty silly plowing up all those fields in the snow. [chuckles] Anyway, around spring time I finally realized that getting married wasn't just about my feelings. Your mom was young. She was scared. She knew that she loved me. But was it a lifetime kind of love? She needed--

[Cut back to Lois Lane's apartment.]

Lois Lane: Time. And time to think it over. To get to know him for who he really is. I mean, that's not unreasonable.

Martha Kent: Oh, not at all. But you need to understand that Clark has always been alone. When he was thirteen and just beginning to be really strong -- really, really strong -- he made the decision on his own never to tell anybody. He said he wanted to fit in. But, of course, he couldn't. Not really. It broke my heart watching him have to hide so many things, afraid he was always going to be alone.

Lois Lane: You know I love him.

Martha Kent: Oh, then tell him, and make him tell you. You can get through everything else. God, I turned Jonathan down four times before we finally made it down the aisle.

Lois Lane: Really?

Martha Kent: Yes. I thought he was crazy. Every time I turned him down he'd go out and plow another field of snow.

[They both laugh.]

Martha Kent: Oh, this is so nice. Almost thirty years, you're the first woman I've ever been able to talk to about my boy.

[Lois Lane hugs Martha Kent. The both shed tears. It is a tender moment. End of scene.]

Timecode: 36 minutes, 50 seconds: The fund raiser party at the museum.

Mindy: The bomb's all set?

Bill Church Jr: In a few minutes, this museum is gonna be the world's most expensive pile of ashes.

Mindy: Oh, Billy, I promise I'll visit your dad in prison every Sunday.

Bill Church Jr: Every other Sunday would be fine. He wasn't much of a father.

[Bill Church Jr. looks down at the Church Group button pinned to his lapel. He takes the button off and tosses it onto the ground.]

[Cut to elsewhere at the party. Clark Kent is using his x-ray vision to try to find the bomb. Lois Lane walks up to him.]

Clark Kent: Hi.

Lois Lane: You, uh, looking into things?

Clark Kent: Yeah.

Lois Lane: So, that's what you've been doing all these years when you pulled your glasses down. I thought you had astigmatism. [chuckles] Look, I had something I wanted to say.

Clark Kent: Me, too.

[Lois and Clark are about to have a sincere conversation about important things between them, but Perry White walks up and interrupts. Perry informs them that the bomb squad is looking for the bomb. Perry tells them to get ready for an exclusive (i.e., a news story that no other reporters will be reporting on firsthand). Then Perry walks away when he sees Jimmy Olsen.]

Lois Lane: Anyway, I guess we should try and find the bomb, catch the bad guys, blah blah blah, and we can get out of here and talk.

Clark Kent: Good plan.

[The plan of the bad guys is put into affect when Superman finds the bomb with his x-ray vision. The bomb is hidden under a table but is protected by a field which is activated by Superman's super-dense molecular structure is detected. Once the field is activated, Clark Kent can't move, lest the bomb go off, the bombmaker's voice tells him. So Clark Kent has to ask Lois Lane to disarm the bomb before it goes off, killing everybody at the museum fund raiser parter. The scene is played for laughs, as Clark is trying to give Lois instructions verbally, but he must do so without tipping anybody off as to what he's doing, and nobody else can see Lois. Perry White tries to talk to Clark during the middle of all this, and Perry misunderstands why Clark keeps saying either "Lois" or "Lane," which Clark is doing in order to provide coded instructions to Lois. After Lois and Clark work together to disarm the bomb and save the day, they kiss passionately. This is the first time they have kissed since Clark asked Lois to marry him and Lois said she needed time before she could say yes. They appear now to have reconciled.]

[While all this was happening, Bill Church Jr. took his son away to another location, telling him he wanted to show his father some other art pieces he wanted to donate. When Bill Church Jr. sees police pull up to their location, the son thinks the police are there to arrest his father. But Lois Lane, Clark Kent and Perry White have given their information to the police, and Mindy also have tipped off the police, so the police know that Bill Church Jr. was involved as well. The police handcuff both Bill Church Senior and Junior and take them away in police cars.]

Bill Church Jr: Wait, wait. This is some kind of mistake.

Policeman: Yeah, mistake. Right. We got a tip linking you [pointing to Bill Church Jr.] to him [pointing to a police car in which sits Joe "the Blow" Arlo in handcuffs] and that bomb in the museum.

Bill Church Sr: Bomb? What's going on?

Bill Church Jr: Mindy. It was Mindy. Thta double-crossing, two-timing--

Bill Church Sr: Billy, don't talk about your mother like that.

[Cut to the secret headquarters of Intergang, formerly used by Bill Church Sr. A man lights a cigar that Mindy holds in her mouth. As the camera pans out we see that she is in charge of a meeting with four of Intergang's top leaders. They all sit around a board room table. She has taken over the world-spanning criminal organization previously headed by her repentant and now-jailed husband.]

Mindy: Boys . . . It doesn't look very good for father and son. Which means . . . there's a new boss in town. So get ready for some changes.

[Ominous music plays.]

Timecode: 42 minutes, 18 seconds: Perry White reads the new Daily Planet front page.

Perry White: [reading headline] "Churches Arrested, Bomber Confesses." Ha ha ha! Now these are what I call headlines.

Lois Lane: The fall of Intergang? I'm not so sure about that one.

[Lois Lane, Perry White, and Jimmy Olsen get on the elevator to leave the offices of the Daily Planet. A man in a dark suit and sunglasses gets in after them. He is the man who was seen in one of the episode's first scenes: He was the Church Group representative who arrested a mugger just before Superman could intervene. Lois does not notice the man, however.]

Jimmy Olsen: You know, I kind of miss those guys in black suits helping everybody. What'll they do now that they're all fired?

[Perry and Jimmy chuckle. The man in the black suit and sunglasses smiles.]

Man in black suit and sunglasses: Very good question. [turns around to face Perry, Lois and Jimmy while he cocks a gun.] Here's my very good answer. Gimme your wallets.

[The elevator door opens. Superman stands outside the elevator.]

Lois Lane: I don't think so. You should turn around.

[The man in the black suit turns around and is surprised to see Superman standing there.]

Man in black suit and sunglasses: Look, um . . . I'm willing to admit this was a bad career move. [Hands Superman his gun.] I didn't really think it out.

Superman: Well, the nicest thing about jail . . . There's plenty of time to ponder those life choices.

[Superman grabs the man in the black suit and hands him over to police, who take him away.]

Superman: Lois, can I speak with you for a moment?

Lois Lane: Sure.

[Jimmy Olsen and Perry White smile as they see Superman walk off with Lois Lane.]

Timecode: 44 minutes, 3 seconds: Cut to the top of a cloud in the night sky. Superman, holding Lois in his arms, emerges through the top of the cloud.

Lois Lane: Ohh.

Superman: You cold?

Lois Lane: A little.

Superman: Here.

[Superman wraps his cape around Lois.]

Lois Lane: It's so beautiful.

Superman: I used to come up here a lot by myself and just . . . drift. Not part of the stars. Not part of the Earth. Not really knowing where I fit in. Until I met you.

Lois Lane: Oh, Clark.

Superman: Lois, I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you as long as you need.

Lois Lane: I want you to know I love you. You're not alone any more.

[Lois Lane and Superman kiss each other with great love. They drift in front of a large full moon in the night sky. End of scene. End of episode. Roll closing credits.]

The process of listing characters who appeared in this source is not yet complete. Webpage for Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - Season 3, Episode 1 (17 Sep. 1995) created 4 April 2008. Last modified 11 June 2014.

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