Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - Season 3, Episode 5
Title: “Just Say Noah”
Medium: television series episode
Original airdate: 22 Oct. 1995Publisher:
6 characters in this story:
(Click links for info about character
and his/her religious practice, affiliation, etc.)
|Kryptonians; Super Friends...||13,409|
[Superman's girlfriend, then wife]
|The Legion of Super-Heroes
|[Superman's (Clark Kent's) boss; Daily Planet editor]||1,574|
|[Superman's adoptive father]||816|
|[Superman's adoptive mother]||827|
Timecode: 1 minute, 8 seconds: Clark Kent walks Lois Lane home at night after they met (by coincidence) at the same movie theater. At the steps to Lois Lane's apartment building, they see a nice married couple that lives in Lois Lane's building.
Michelle Sitkowitz: Hi, Lois.
Lois Lane: Michelle! Uh, Clark, I want you to meet Michelle and Arnold Sitkowitz, my neighbors.
Michelle Sitkowitz: Well, you two make an adorable couple! Oh, I hope you'll be as happy as Arnold and me.
Arnold Sitkowitz: Ten years and never a cross word.
Michelle Sitkowitz: Ahhh.
[Michelle and Arnold Sitkowitz start kissing each other with great love and affection. They get into what they are doing and seem to forget that Lois and Clark are standing right there. Lois looks at Clark uncomfortably. It is time for her to go into her apartment and leave him there. The relationship between Lois and Clark has been strained. Officially they are "broken up" right now, because Clark thinks it would be too dangerous for Lois for them to remain in a romantic relationship or get married. This doesn't sit well with Lois. They awkwardly look at each other, considering how to part ways this night, especially given the passion of the Sitkowitz couple on display before them. Finally they shake hands and part ways.]
Lois Lane: Ah, well, it's getting late.
Clark Kent: Yeah.
Lois Lane: See you tomorrow.
Clark Kent: [to Michelle and Arnold, who are oblivious, still kissing each other like crazy] Nice meeting you.
[Lois Lane walks up the steps to the door to the building. She looks at Michelle and Arnold with admiration and amazement, and maybe a little disbelief.]
BELOW: Lois Lane marvels at the loving ten-year relationship of her neighbors, Michelle and Arnold Sitkowitz:
Source: Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - Season 3, Episode 5 (22 Oct. 1995). Written by Brad Buckner, Eugenie Ross-Leming. Directed by David Jackson.
Lois Lane: [sighs] Ten years.
[Lois Lane enters her building, leaving Michelle and Arnold Sitkowitz still kissing each other on the steps.]
[Immediately after Lois Lane enters her building, a disembodied voice is heard. It sounds like the voice of God, reminiscent, for example, of the voice of God heard in the movie The Ten Commandments.]
BELOW: Mirroring the Bible's Genesis account of Moses, Lois Lane's neighbors Michelle and Arnold Sitkowitz apparently hear the voice of God and see a burning bush:
Source: Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - Season 3, Episode 5 (22 Oct. 1995). Written by Brad Buckner, Eugenie Ross-Leming. Directed by David Jackson.
Voice of God (?): Arnold and Michelle Sitkowitz.
Arnold Sitkowitz: Where did that come from?
[Suddenly, a bush next to them bursts into flame.]
Michelle Sitkowitz: [gasps] Look, Arnold, a burning bush!
Voice of God (?): Do not be afraid. You have been chosen.
Arnold Sitkowitz: Chosen for what?
[No answer is forthcoming. Arnold and Michelle look startled. They walk down the steps to the sidewalk to get a closer look at the burning bush. A taxi cab pulls up next to them. Michelle and Arnold start coughing from the smoke from the burning bush. Two men wearing black clothing and gas masks get out and push Michelle and Arnold into the cab, saying "Get in!" The cab speeds away. End of scene. Roll opening credits.]
Timecode: 3 minutes, 28 seconds: After opening credits are finished, the scene opens with Lois Lane exiting her apartment and locking the door. The episode's title is displayed on screen: "Just Say Noah." Clearly this episode, with a Biblical burning bush in the opening scene and a title also drawn from the Old Testament book of Genesis, is going to draw heavily on Old Testament themes and imagery.
[Lois Lane's New Age psychic counsellor neighbor Star walks up from behind Lois.]
Star: You do have an alibi for last night?
Lois Lane: An alibi? Why do I need an alibi?
Star: That lady, with the cop . . . Michelle Sitkowitz's sister Louise. She lives across town. And the Sitkowitzes were supposed to be at her place last night. They play poker every Thursday . . .
Lois Lane: Is there anything that goes on in this building that you don't find out about?
Star: No . . . Anyway, Arnold and Michelle never made it!
Lois Lane: So, maybe they wen't some place else last night.
Star: No! Louise and Michelle are very close. Michelle woulda called. Anyway, Louise got worried, so she came over here last night and the Sitkowitzes never came home!
Lois Lane: What?!
Star: That's right. Vanished.
Lois Lane: That's so weird. I just introduced them to Clark.
Star: Happiest couple I have ever met besides you and Clark.
[Lois Lane looks at Star wondering how she could say she and Clark are a "happy couple," given all their ups and downs recently.]
Star: . . . From . . . time to time.
Lois Lane: I hope Louise doesn't mind me butting in.
Star: What can you do?
Lois Lane: I'm a reporter. I can make some noise about this. You know, people disappear in this city all the time and nobody seems to care. I'm not gonna let that happen to Arnold and Michelle.
[End of scene.]
Timecode: 4 minutes, 54 seconds: Clark Kent's parents are visiting him in his apartment. They have been talking about Clark's relationship with Lois.
Clark Kent: I mean, a guy makes one . . . admittedly big mistake, and BAM! The door slams closed in his face and the Supreme Court is not hearing any appeals.
Jonathan Kent: Trouble with Lois, huh?
Clark Kent: Remember that great idea I had about breaking up with Lois because being close to me put her at risk.
Jonathan Kent: Yeah, we were afraid that wouldn't sit too well.
Clark Kent: I mean, don't you think she's sort of making a mountain out of a mole hill, here?
Martha Kent: Well, frankly, Clark, I have to go with Lois on this one.
Clark Kent: Dad?
Jonathan Kent: I have to go with your mother.
Clark Kent: It's not supposed to work with this. You guys are my parents. You're supposed to side with me.
Martha Kent: Well, we do take your side in the big picture. We want you to be happy and Lois makes you happy, unless you make her unhappy, and then she makes you unhappy, and that makes us unhappy.
BELOW: Clark Kent's father Jonathan: Love and marriage are a partnership. Both people are equal:
Source: Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - Season 3, Episode 5 (22 Oct. 1995). Written by Brad Buckner, Eugenie Ross-Leming. Directed by David Jackson.
Jonathan Kent: Son, love and marriage are a partnership. Both people are equal in that partnership. Bottom line: they make their decisions together.
Clark Kent: So, what are you saying? I should go crawling back on my hands and knees?
Martha Kent: No, honey. Fly back. It's faster.
Timecode: 6 minutes, 19 seconds: Lois Lane is in Perry White's office discussing the disappearance of her neighbors Michelle and Arnold Sitkowitz. Lois is pitching this as a story that she should work on, but Perry is unconvinced that it is important enough. Perry interrupts their conversation when he sees a TV show he has been waiting for is starting. He uses the remote control to turn up the volume.
BELOW: Perry White enthusiastically watches 'visioary' Larry Smiley, of the Institute for Love and Commitment:
Perry White: Oh, shhh, shhh, shhh. My man, Larry Smiley!
[After a screen showing the logo for Larry Smiley's institute, Larry Smiley's face comes on TV.]
Larry Smiley: Well, howdy, howdy, howdy! And welcome to all you nice folks out there...
Lois Lane: Larry Smiley? Isn't he that guy that runs that place? The Institute for Love and Dependence.
Perry White: Commitment!
[Perry White here firmly corrects Lois Lane's mistake (probably intentional) in naming Smiley's organization. Perry is obviously quite a devotee of Larry Smiley. He is trying to watch Larry Smiley's show very intently.]
Perry White: Love and Commitment. This man's a visionary! Alice and I went on his retreat. Sure opened our eyes!
Larry Smiley: ...steps that I loved at the knee of my beloved Mama, who made her marriage a true romance.
[The TV show plays angelic music as we see the camera pan up from a close-up on Larry Smiley to show that he is sitting under a life-sized painting of his aged mother.]
Larry Smiley: Sit back and relaxe and listen to my guests. They'll tell you the straight poop.
[On the TV show that Perry and Lois are watching, the camera pans over to show two guests sitting on a couch near Larry. The guests are Michelle and Arnold Sitkowitz.]
Larry Smiley: Michelle and Arnold, howdy!
Lois Lane: It's them! That's Michelle and Arnold! She told me she taped something last month. I had no idea it was this!
BELOW: Larry Smiley talks with Lois Lane's neighbors about how his techniques improved their marriage:
Larry Smiley: I was hoping that you might share with us, uh, how my principles on equal opportunity lovingness have affected your life.
Michelle Sitkowitz: Well, Larry, Arnold and I always thought we had the perfect marriage.
Arnold Sitkowitz: Ten years and never a cross word.
Michelle Sitkowitz: But thanks to your lessons of sharing and unity, we now are unified in our sharing.
BELOW: Lois Lane is astounded that her neighbors really believe in Larry Smiley; Perry White assures her Larry really helped his own marriage as well:
Lois Lane: Jeez, they sound like they really believe in this guy.
Perry White: Yeah, yeah. You know, without Larry, my marriage would've been a shut-out. [making a baseball reference] As it is, we're heading into extra innings.
[Clark Kent comes to the door of the office. He sees that Perry is talking to Lois and he says he doesn't want to interrupt. Perry explains that he has been wanting to talk to the two of them together. He tells them that he is there for them if they need somebody to listen or counsel with. He also makes sure they know that whatever troubles they are having in their personal lives, he expects that it won't interfere with their job at the Daily Planet. Lois Lane assures him that they will be professional no matter what is going on in their private lives.]
[Note in this scene there is a portrait of Elvis Presley on Perry White's wall behind here Lois Lane is standing. This may be a new portait hanging in Perry's office, or it may simply be an Elvis portrait that we haven't noticed before. Perry White is a devout Elvis Presley worshipper, and this is just one of many Elvis pictures and memorabilia in his office. A framed photo of Elvis can also be seen behind Perry White's desk in this scene, a photo that has been visible in nearly every scene that takes place in this office throughout this series.]
BELOW: Lois stands in front of a new Elvis Presley portrait in Elvis-worshipper Perry White's office:
[With his super hearing, Clark Kent hears cries for help. He rushes off to help out as Superman. Lois Lane covers for him with Perry.]
Perry White: [speaking to Lois about the now departed Clark Kent] You know, that boy'd walk on water for you, or he'd drown trying.
BELOW: Perry White speaks to Lois about Clark: 'that boy'd walk on water for you':
Timecode: 8 minutes, 29 seconds: On a street in Metropolis, we hear the rush of air as Superman arrives at the scene from which he heard cries for help. The scene opens with a closeup on two nuns. They stand next to an automobile accident. Superman lands and runs past the two nuns. He runs toward a pileup in which two vehicles have ended up on top of the nuns' vehicle. The nuns' vehicle has a Catholic cross and the words "Our Lady of Last Hope" emblazoned in big white on the back hatchback door. Superman tears the door off one of the cars and lifts a man out of the burning vehicle. He hands the man to a bystander.]
BELOW: Catholic nuns watch as Superman comes to the rescue at an automobile accident:
Superman: Here you go.
[Lois Lane walks up to the scene. Superman rushes over to her.]
Superman: Hi, where are you off to?
Lois Lane: The interview.
Superman: What interview?
Lois Lane: No, but since you're hardly speaking to me I guess this is one of those things that you hardly spoke to me about.
Lois Lane: I wanna talk to the friends and family of the missing couples, see if we can find any common links. We're due at Emmerson's Cafe at noon.
Superman: Lois, I'm kind of busy. Will you excuse me?
[Superman rushes back to the automobile pileup. He uses his super breath to blow all the smoke away and put out the fires that are burning crashed vehicles. A nun rushes up to Lois Lane. The nun, played by actress Sharon Thomas, taps Lois on the shoulder and excitedly speaks about Superman.]
BELOW: A jubilant Catholic nun tells Lois that Superman is a national treasure:
Nun: Oh, isn't he something!
Lois Lane: Yeah.
Nun: Thanks to him, the Sisters and I will still be able to bring our toy collection to the orphanage. Superman is a-- is a national treasure.
[Superman finishes blowing all the smoke away. He rushes back to where Lois Lane is standing next to the nun. The nun puts out her arms as Superman approaches and takes his head in her hands in sisterly fashion. She kisses him on the cheek.]
Nun: Oh! [kiss]
[The nun is absolutely delighted with Superman. He is startled that the nun kissed him. The nun rushes back to her fellow nuns. Superman chuckles.]
Lois Lane: You know, it's just wonderful being angry at a national treasure.
Superman: Lois, I can't help it. People like me. I help 'em. You used to like me.
Lois Lane: I still like you. I'm just upset. And even though it's your fault, I feel like it's mine. Good 'ol Clark. Good 'ol Superman. Crabby old Lois. And even if I could tell someone the issue, which I can't, they'd still think you were the good guy and I was the bad guy.
Superman: Can you-- Can you hang on?
[Superman rushes back to the accident scene. He passes by the three nuns who had been in the Sisters of Last Hope van. The nuns are all chattering excitedly about Superman's help.]
BELOW: Superman saves the toys the Catholic nuns were bringing to an orphanage:
Nun: Oh, Sisters, look! He's saving the toys from being scorched!
[Lois Lane is standing a about twenty feet behind there the nuns are standing, but she overhears them.]
Lois Lane: Heh. Of course!
[Superman rushes back to where the three nuns are standing and hands them bags of toys he rescued from the smouldering vehicles.
Nun: Oh, bless you!
[Superman chuckles. The joyful nuns walk away with the bags of toys. Superman takes a few steps over to where Lois Lane is standing, watching all of this take place.]
Superman: I'm sorry. You were saying?
[Lois Lane shakes her head. How can she have an argument with a man who just saved nuns and toys for children in an orphanage?]
Lois Lane: Nothing. I'm gonna be a professional and go to the interview and internalize my feelings so I get an ulcer the size of Cleveland.
[Lois Lane turns and walks away. Superman shakes his head, wondering at her words and behavior, which he simply doesn't understand.]
Superman: Women . . . Earth women.
[Superman flies away.]
Timecode: 10 minutes, 19 seconds: Lois Lane walks to the cafe where she and Clark are supposed to interview a relative of a missing couple. Clark Kent is already there, sitting at a table with a gentleman wearing suit.
Lois Lane: [to Clark] I guess you didn't have any trouble with parking.
Clark Kent: Oh. [Pointing to the other man by way of introduction.] Mr. Hanson.
[Mr. Hanson shakes Lois Lane's hand.]
Mr. Hanson: Good to meet you.
Clark Kent: Mr. Hanson here says that his brother and sister-in-law vanished last month. They were struggling artists. Only been married a year. They moved here from Dayton.
Lois Lane: So they had nothing in common with the Sitkowitzes? [To Mr. Hanson] They by any chance have a wonderful, seemingly perfect marriage, did they?
Mr. Hanson: Oh no, not at all.
Lois Lane: [To Clark] It was worth a shot.
Mr. Hanson: In fact, up until two months ago, Inga spoke of divorce and moving back to Dayton.
Lois Lane: What changed her mind?
BELOW: Mr. Hanson recalls how his brother and sister-in-law (now missing) were truly helped by the Larry Smiley Institute for Love and Commitment:
Mr. Hanson: A place called the Larry Smiley Institute.
Lois Lane: For Love and Commitment? They went there?
Mr. Hanson: They said that this Smiley fellow restored their relationship. He rebuilt their trust in each other and promised them a hopeful future.
Lois Lane: And then they disappeared.
[End of scene.]
Timecode: 11 minutes, 12 seconds: Ominous music (signalling the villains of the episode) play while we see Arnold Sitkowitz being forced by two black-wearing henchmen to walk into a dimly lit room. Ancient-style flame torches on poles provide light.
BELOW: Under the watchful eye of Larry Smiley, henchmen force a captive Arnold Sitkowitz into a suspended animation chamber:
Arnold Sitkowitz: What is this? What do you want with us??
[The two henchmen drag him to see where his wife is unconscious, trapped in a translucent blue container. Similar containers with other unconscious people in them are spaced throughout the strange cavernous room.]
Arnold Sitkowitz: Oh no! Oh my God. Michelle!
[The two henchmen force Arnold Sitkowitz into a blue container like the one his wife is trapped in. He can only scream as they lock him inside. From the shadows, a man walks into the fame in the distance. His face can't be seen, but if one has read enough comic book stories or seen enough episodes of this series in particular, it is a good bet that the man is Larry Smiley. The scene fades to black.]
Timecode: 11 minutes, 35 seconds: At the Daily Planet offices, Lois Lane and Clark Kent investigate their story further by cross-referencing the names on a couple of group photos from attendees at the Larry Smiley Institute for Love and Commitment with lists of married couples who have been reported missing from Metropolis during the last two years. They find four matches (four couples) and become convinced that Larry Smiley's Institute is connected to the cases of missing persons. But they have no proof. Clark Kent is a bit uncomfortable at the cordial, purely professional manner in which Lois speaks to him. Lois, for her part, is determined to act only professionally with Clark, seeing as how he has decided to break off their romantic relationship. Lois and Clark go to Perry White to try to get him to investigate their findings further. Perry is credulous, however. After all, the Larry Smiley Institute was very helpful in his own marriage.]
Timecode: 12 minutes, 15 seconds: Lois Lane and Clark Kent meet with Perry White in his office. Note the framed photo of Elvis Presley that sits behind Perry White. These indicators of Perry White's status as an Elvis Presley worshipper are always visible in his office.]
Lois Lane: From these two photos alone, four couples have vanished in the last two years. Who knows how many have disappeared from other sessions at the Institute. I mean, Perry, you might even be at risk.
BELOW: Perry White (an enthusiastic supporter) dismisses the idea that there might be something about Larry Smiley and his Institute:
Perry White: Oh, come on, now, Lois. If there was something sinister there you don't think an old newshound like myself wouldn't sense it?
Clark Kent: Maybe. Or maybe it's just really well hidden, Chief.
Perry White: Yeah. Yeah, possibly. Anyway, if you wanted to nose around, it'd have to be kind of an undercover, sniff-it-out type of thing.
Clark Kent: That's not exactly what I was getting at.
Perry White: No, as a matter of fact. I could make arrangements for you to go on the next retreat. As a married couple.
Lois Lane: Oh, no. No, no, that's just-- just not a good idea.
Clark Kent: Not at this time, Chief.
Perry White: No? Why? Surely not for personal reasons? I mean, 'cause you both said that nothing would stand in the way of your professionalism?
Lois Lane: No. No. No. Just . . . don't think it's a good idea.
Perry White: Oh, oh. Okay, well, you're sentiments are duly noted. Ha ha.
[Perry continues eating his lunch. Lois Lane and Clark Kent stand there, saying nothing. Perry looks back up at them.]
Perry White: Don't you guys think you should get out of here and pack?
[Lois Lane and Clark Kent turn to leave. They were defeated by their own promise to not let personal matters interfer with their jobs.]
Timecode: 13 minutes, 21 seconds: Lois Lane and Clark Kent walk behind a camp worker at a retreat sponsored by the Larry Smiley Institute for Love and Commitment.
BELOW: Just like Noah in the Old Testament, Larry Smiley is gathering two of every kind:
Camp worker: Each of our guests goes by the name of an animal species, symbolic of the primal urge to mate and further the species. Larry wants two of every kind. You guys will be known as the Hawks. They mate for life.
[With the help of his x-ray vision, Clark Kent makes sure that he and Lois get assigned to the same cabin that the Sitkowitzes had stayed in.]
Timecode: 16 minutes, 9 seconds: Lois Lane notices that the wooden surface of the desk in the cabin where the Sitkowitzes stayed is very soft, so much so that writing on it left indentations. Using his super vision, Clark Kent is able to read the last thing that Michelle Sitkowitz wrote. He reads it out loud.
Clark Kent: There's one other thing. [reading] "Kathy. 4:30 - Meditation Tree."
BELOW: Michelle's note: Kathy. 4:30 - Meditation Tree:
Lois Lane: Who's Kathy?
[A knock is heard at the door.]
Camp worker: Male and Female Hawk?
[The camp worker opens the door and drops travel bags on the floor.]
Camp worker: Your bags.
Lois Lane: Good. I've gotta change. Thanks.
Camp worker: Larry Smiley's waiting. The first session's starting now.
Lois Lane: Wha-- Wait a minute. Where's my suitcase? Where's my suitcase?
Timecode: 16 minutes, 31 seconds: Cut to interior of a large barn or farmhouse converted to a nice, rustic meeting room. The camera starts with a closeup on a portrait of Larry Smiley's beloved mother. Larry Smiley leads a self-help session for married couples.]
BELOW: Larry Smiley leads a group therapy session for couples wanted to improve their marriages:
Larry Smiley: Harmonicity. Well, you can put away your Funk & Wagnalls, folks. That ain't English. It's what I call a Larryism. Harmonicity is a blend, if you will, of complementary desires. And, as my dear Mama would say, that's exactly what Mother Nature intended for marriage to be. Now, how 'bout it folks? We got harmonicity?
Crowd of attendees: [answering in unison] Yes!
Larry Smiley: Heck! Then let's all take hands. Smile on yourselves! Oh, Mama, I can feel it! I feel the harmony! I feel the love!
[The session Larry is leading is interrupted by the sounds of Lois Lane and Clark Kent, arguing with each other while they approach the meeting. They are late. Everybody in attendance hears them and turns to look at them.]
Clark Kent: It's not like I did it on purpose!
Lois Lane: Well, my bag was there, right on the stoop!
Clark Kent: I thought you put in the car.
Lois Lane: You know, maybe subconsciously you have some need to--
[Lois Lane stops herself short as she enters the conference room and sees dozens of attendees staring at her.]
Clark Kent: Hi.
Larry Smiley: Male and Female Hawk. And not a moment too soon.
[A camp worker gives Lois and Clark nametags. They stick the nametags on their shirts. Larry Smiley motions for Lois and Clark to take a seat. They start to sit, but Larry stops them.]
Larry Smiley: No, no, no. Stay standing. Let's get right to work. You know, around here, we speak "blunt speak." And this is a . . . [points to the crowd, indicating they should answer] What?
[An eager female attendee who we later learn is designated "Female Lemur" raises her hand and answers.]
Female Lemur: Oh! Larryism!
Larry Smiley: Right you are, Female Lemur. And, bluntly speaking, you two have got to stop dressing alike. I mean, look at yourself, honey. Do you hate your feminine side?
[Lois Lane is wearing some of Clark Kent's clothes - an flannel shirt and blue jeans, both of which are obviously too large for her. She is dressed this way because she doesn't have her own suitcase here. Clark forgot to put it in their car on the way up.]
Lois Lane: What?! No!
Clark Kent: No. She's-- she's very feminine.
Larry Smiley: Now, see, this is what I call the echo pattern. She basically says something and you just gotta chime in. That pretty much the way it works?
Lois Lane: No.
Clark Kent: Of course not.
Larry Smiley: Son, don't allow this. You gotta sing your own song. It takes two tones for . . . [looks at the audience for an answer]
Crowd of attendees: [answering in unison] Harmonicity!
Larry Smiley: Harmonicity! [to Lois and Clark] Please be seated.
[Lois Lane and Clark sit down on the floor, like eveybody else in the room.]
Larry Smiley: Let's all close our eyes and go to that safe place where we find our own pure tone.
[All of the attendees follow Larry Smiley's example by closing their eyes. They all look blissful (except Lois and Clark). Lois Lane keeps her eyes open. She looks around the room. She notices that one of the camp workers (who are NOT sitting, but are preparing a meal) wears a nametag that identifies her as Kathy. Lois whispers this information to Clark. The female attendee who earlier raised her hand to answer Larry's question raises her hand again and tattles on Lois for whispering. Larry firmly scolds her and gives her a timeout.]
BELOW: Larry Smiley scolds a disruptive Lois Lane: 'don't you return until you are singing with the choir':
Larry Smiley: Step on outside, Female Hawk, and don't you return until you are singing with the choir.
Lois Lane: Really? Do I have to? Aw, shucks!
[Lois leaves, pretending to be upset at being chastised. But really she is happy to be able to leave, because Kathy left just moments before and Lois wants to follow Kathy.]
Larry Smiley: [to Clark] You know something, you got a tiger by the tail there, boy.
Clark Kent: Tell me about it.
[Lois Lane catches up with Kathy and mentions her friends, Arnold and Michelle Sitkowitz. Kathy claims she doesn't know them. Kathy seems to be acting strange after Lois asks about her missing friends (although Lois never mentions that they were missing). It seems clear to Lois that Kathy is hiding something. Lois lets Kathy walk away without saying anything else.]
Timecode: 19 minutes, 30 seconds: Cut to later. Closeup on Larry Smiley, surrounded by torches in a darkened place.
BELOW: Larry Smiley talks to his followers about fire and purification:
Larry Smiley: Fire. Symbol of light when there was darkness. Warmth where there was cold. And most assuredly, purification of the impure.
[Camera shows a wider shot and we can see that Larry is speaking to a group that consists only of camp workers. They are recognizable because of the uniform blue pastel polo shirts they wear, each emblazoned with the logo for the Larry Smiley Institute for Love and Commitment. In the background we can see a row of translucent blue containers which we earlier saw the Sitkowitzes trapped in. Clearly these camp workers know more about Larry Smiley and his schemes than the general camp attendees. Larry approaches camp worker Kathy and touches her on the cheek.]
Larry Smiley: You hear that, Kathy? Betraying my trust would be an awfully impure thing to do.
Kathy: Larry, I'd never betray your trust.
Larry Smiley: Wouldn't you, honey? You real sure about that? You mess with fire, you're gonna get burned.
[Larry looks up and jumps slightly as if he was just surprised by a sound. There was no sound, but he pretends he heard something.]
BELOW: Larry Smiley's followers watch their prophet talk to God on the phone:
Larry Smiley: Woa! You hear that? The phone!
[Larry turns and runs to a phone placed on a pedastal many feet away. The crowd of about a dozen camp workers watch him go to the phone. Larr picks up the phone handpiece and holds it to his mouth and ear.]
Larry Smiley: Hello? . . . Yes, sir, boss! Smiley, here! . . . You don't say! I know you're busy, sir . . . Well, say hi to everyone for me . . . And bless you, too, sir.
[Larry hands up and addresses the camp workers, who have been looking at him with a mixture of awe, admiration and curiosity.]
BELOW: Larry Smiley: Yep, that was God, everybody!
Larry Smiley: Yep! Yep, that was God, everybody!
[The crowd of camp workers cheers and claps, feeling great joy that they just witnessed their leader speaking to God.]
BELOW: Larry Smiley tells his people about how Heaven favors them:
Larry Smiley: And God has news. It seems everybody in Heaven is talking about us. Everybody in Heaven is saying that them Smiley people is gonna be the rulers of the new dawn. And that's what I promised you, isn't it?
People in the crowd of camp workers: Yeah! That's what you promised!
Larry Smiley: A place by my side in a better world.
[The crowd claps their hands.]
Larry Smiley: Boys and girls. A new day is at hand. The countdown has begun.
[Larry Smiley turns to face a large object covered by a blue drape.]
Larry Smiley: Darlin', did you hear? We're almost there!
[A mechanical motor sound is heard as the blue drape is raised into the air, revealing another translucent blue container. In it is an elderly woman: Larry Smiley's mother. Larry's mother may be in some sort of stasis or suspended animation, although for all we can tell she is simply dead.]
Larry Smiley: The new dawn! Meet you for bacon and eggs.
BELOW: Larry Smiley speaks to his frozen mother:
[End of scene.]
Timecode: 20 minutes, 58 seconds: Perry White is wearing a tuxedo. He leaves the Daily Planet building walking alongside Jimmy Olsen, giving his employee some last-minute instructions about putting the paper to bed. Arriving at the curb, Perry that his wife Alice isn't there waiting to pick him up, as arranged.
Perry White: Oh, brother, where is she?
Jimmy Olsen: I thought you hated the symphony, Chief.
Perry White: I do, Jimmy! That's why I'm standing here in this monkey suit, who loves the symphony. And with whom I am on very thin ice. So I can plunk down a thousand smackers for bad seats on a charity opening night! Now, son, when you get married, this will all make perfect sense.
[A taxi cab pulls up. Alice White is in the back seat.]
Perry White: Oh, hi, Dumpling!
Jimmy Olsen: Hello, Mrs. White! Chief, I'm gonna stay 'til we roll.
Perry White: Okay, bud. Thank you.
[Perry gets into the back seat of the taxi cab. Ominous music plays. The cab driver ominously glances back at Perry and pulls away from the curb. The driver pushes a button and a sleep gas (that looks like smoke) starts dispersing in the sealed back seat.]
Perry White: Judas Priest! What in the Sam Hill is goin' on here?
[Perry starts coughing uncontrollably. He tries to open the door, but it is locked and he can't unlock it.]
Perry White: Alice??
[Perry White puts his face against the window and screams for Jimmy, but it is too late. Jimmy Olsen is gone and the cab is driving away. End of scene.]
[Clearly this cab was being driven by somebody who works for Larry Smiley. They used the same gas-filled cab technique to kidnap Perry White that they used to abduct the Sitkowitzes (minus the voice of God trick and the burning bush).]
Timecode: 22 minutes, 0 seconds: Interior of the cabin currenly occupied by undercover reporters Clark Kent and Lois Lane at the retreat run by the Larry Smiley Institute. Lois Lane, wearing one of Clark Kent's T-shirts, is in bed. Clark Kent is on the makeshift "cot" formed by putting a few chairs together.
Lois Lane: Scared to death. I just mentioned the Sitkowitz name. Kathy turned white as a ghost.
Clark Kent: Well, I scanned the whole area. There's no sight or sound of them. So either they're not here, or they're in a lead-lined room.
Lois Lane: Hmm. Or they're dead.
[Lois Lane and Clark Kent both toss and turn uncomfortably, unable to sleep. Clark's sleeping arrangements look particularly uncomfortable. As he rolls over a bit, the chairs collapse and he falls out of them entirely. He stands up.]
Clark Kent: This is not a bed.
Lois Lane: No. This is a bed.
Clark Kent: Actually . . . it's a very large bed.
Lois Lane: This is business.
Clark Kent: Yeah . . . You think I can't handle this? I-- I can handle this. I can handle this just fine.
[Using his flying power, Clark Kent jumps back a bit and then levitates in mid-air in a reclining posture, as if he is lying down on an invisible bed. He yawns as if settling in to sleep.]
Lois Lane: Your life is so strange.
Clark Kent: And getting stranger by the minute. Lois, flying for me is a piece of cake. I've been doing it since high school. What happens if I screw up? I lose a little altitude. But being in a relationship . . . It's completely new. If I blow this, I lose everything.
Lois Lane: Oh, Clark. I'm not actually as good at romance as I look.
Clark Kent: Really?
Lois Lane: I mean, my life's basically been about work. I'm just trying to figure this out like you are.
Clark Kent: So, we'll help each other.
Lois Lane: I know I don't always respond appropriately.
Clark Kent: Neither do I.
Lois Lane: And I don't always know how to express how I feel.
Clark Kent: And I get tongue-tied sometimes.
Lois Lane: But . . . I do know you broke my heart. And you just have to let me work that out. You can't expect me to just snap out of it.
Clark Kent: I will. And I don't. . . . Good night, Lois.
Lois Lane: Good night, Clark.
[They both remain quiet so they can get some sleep. End of scene.]
Timecode: 24 minutes, 30 seconds: Windy weather rustles trees over the cabins in the retreat. Wind blows through an open window in the cabin that Lois and Clark are staying in. Clark is comfortably sleeping in midair. The wind slowly blows him across the room until he is directly over Lois Lane in bed. Suddenly Lois Lane's eyes open. She sees Clark Kent abou two feet above her. She gasps audibly. This wakes Clark up. Startled at seeing her right beneath him, he loses concentration and falls onto her. They struggle to extricate themselves from the situation. Lois pushes on Clark and he tries to stand up.]
Lois Lane: Oh! What are you doing!? Oh! Please get off of me!
Clark Kent: I would if you just hold still!
[Lois Lane and Clark Kent make so much noise at this point that a man lying awake in the next cabin over can hear them. Their words sound to him like a couple engaged in a very awkward romantic situation. It sounds to the man like a man's wife is rejecting his amorous nightime advances.]
Man in next cabin: Hey, pal. Been there.
[Finally Clark is able to stand up next to Lois Lane in bed. She sits up. Clark holds his hands up defensively.]
Clark Kent: It was an accident.
Lois Lane: Falling from floating. That's not possible.
Clark Kent: Oh, I guess you're better at it than I am, huh?
Lois Lane: All right. All right. I got scared. Let's just calm down.
[Suddenly a rock flies through the window and knocks the lamp off the nightstand. Lois screams, startled. Clark tries to calm her down.]
Clark Kent: It's okay. It's just a rock.
Lois Lane: You know, I sleep like a baby in Metropolis. What is so relaxing about the stupid mountains?
[Clark Kent picks up the rock. There is a white piece of paper wrapped around it. He spreads the paper flat and reads the note on it.]
Clark Kent: It says "Meet me at the meditation tree tomorrow at midnight." Signed "Guess who."
BELOW: Clark Kent reads note: 'Meet me at the meditation tree tomorrow at midnight':
[End of scene.]
Timecode: 25 minutes, 52 seconds: The secret cavernous room with torches and translucent blue people containers. The black-clothed henchmen drag force a blindfolded Perry White to walk between them. These are the same two henchmen who earlier brought a captive Arnold Sitkowitz into this same room.
BELOW: Perry White is shocked and confused when he sees that he has been abducted by the man who improved his marriage - Larry Smiley:
Perry White: If this is some, uh, pathetic bid for notoriety, lemme-- Let me just tell you-- tell you something right now. The Daily Planet does not deal with kidnappers!
[The henchman force Perry White into a chair. They remove his blindfold. Perry White looks and sees that Larry Smiley is standing there.]
Larry Smiley: Greetings, Male Wombat. Things okay with you and Female Wombat?
Perry White: Wha? Uh . . . Uh huh, yeah, sure. Larry, uh, where's Alice? Is this some kind of a spot progress check or something? Because, let me tell you, you've taken years off my life here.
[Perry White has such great faith in Larry Smiley that even after having been kidnapped and gassed by Larry's henchmen, Perry thinks that Larry might just be trying to help him with his marriage.]
Larry Smiley: Well, you'll gain 'em all back - in the New Dawn.
Perry White: The new what?
BELOW: Like Noah of the Old Testament, Larry Smiley has gathered two of every kind:
Larry Smiley: It's where we're all going. All the most promising graduates of the Larry Smiley Institute for Love and Commitment. I got me two of every kind. Farmers. Doctors. Lawyers. And you. Why, you of all people should see where I'm headed.
Perry White: Yeah. Little quiet white room with rubber on the walls.
Larry Smiley: Hee hee hee hee! Don't rile me, boy. I'll leave you to drown!
BELOW: Perry White questions the sanity of Larry Smiley, a would-be modern-day Noah who intends to flood the Earth:
Perry White: Drown?
Larry Smiley: Didn't I mention? I'm flooding the Earth.
Perry White: Oh? Well, uh . . . Okay! I'll just grab Alice and be on my way. Thanks, man, I appreciate it!
[Perry White stands up, as if about to leave. The henchmen grab him and force him back into the chair.]
Larry Smiley: God has made it real clear what I gotta do. Start over. Get ridda everyone. Except for the Chosen, of course.
BELOW: Larry Smiley says God has made it clear that he needs to flood the Earth, wiping out all humanity except for the Chosen:
Perry White: Uh, ah, Larry . . . [stands up slowly to speak to Larry face to face] Stay with me, now. You can't flood the Earth. It's not-- It's not possible, Larry.
Larry Smiley: You know, one of the advantages of healing the famous and the accomplished is that the little devils are capable of building the dogonnedest contraptions.
[Larry pushes the button on a control device he is holding in his hand. Motors whir. Perry turns to see a large glowing machine.]
Larry Smiley: Behold, the Aqua Plus 1000 Storm Maker. Neat, huh?
BELOW: Larry Smiley shows Perry White the machine he plans to use to flood the Earth:
Perry White: Damn it, man! Where's Alice? I wanna see her. Please!
[Larry touches another button on his control unit. A people-container capsule in another corner of the room lights up. Perry turns and sees Alice contained therein.
Perry White: Oh my gosh! What have you done to her, man?
BELOW: Larry Smiley shows Perry White his wife Alice - in suspended animation, awaiting the New Dawn:
Larry Smiley: Suspended animation. Her life signs are hovering just above death. But, like all the others, she'll be revived as soon as the waters recede and the New Dawn breaks.
[Larry looks across the room and sees something he has to attend to. He walks way, turning his back on Perry. Perry screams and lunges toward Larry, but the man is out of reach and the henchmen grab Perry before he can get very far. End of scene.]
Timecode: 28 minutes, 23 seconds: Establish shot shows the outside of the cabin that Lois Lane and Clark Kent are staying in while at the retreat. It is morning. Inside, Lois Lane wakes up in the bed. Clark is not present.
Lois Lane: Clark?
[The door to the cabin opens. Superman stands in the doorway, holding Lois Lane's suitcase.]
Lois Lane: Well, you're really racking up the frequent flyer miles. That was sweet.
Superman: I know.
[A knock is heard at the door. A female camp attendee is speaking. She is the eager hand-raiser from the meeting the day before, the one known as "Female Lemur."]
Female Lemur: Group time! Ready?
[The female camp attendee pushes open the door and sees Superman standing next to Lois Lane in bed.]
Female Lemur: Superman?! Female Hawk, you know Superman?
Lois Lane: Oh, well, yeah, kind of. We have the same dentist. Heh heh. [Turns to face the bathroom.] Uh, Clark? Clark! You gonna be out of the shower soon? Superman's leaving!
Female Lemur: Oh! You know what would be so great? Superman could join our session.
[A male camp worker pokes his head into the room.]
Male camp worker: Superman's here?
Female Lemur: So many people here could benefit from your fairness and wisdom and--
Superman: I really have to go.
Lois Lane: No, he has to go.
Superman: Very late--
Female Lemur: Isn't it your job to help people in need?
[She's got him there. End of scene.]
Timecode: 29 minutes, 21 seconds: Superman sits in a chair next to Larry Smiley in the conference room. The crowd of attendees sits on the floor as before.
Female Lemur: I just want Brian to make me feel validated, is all.
Brian (Male Lemur): You want validation, go to a parking lot. [Looks at Superman and Larry] It's the same argument we've been having for weeks. I take a job for more money and better benefits and she complains because we didn't discuss it.
Female Lemur: The job is in Tibet! [gasps from the audience] All I am saying is we shoulda talked this through.
Lois Lane: I hear ya' there!
Larry Smiley: [addressing Lois, scolding her for interrupting] Female Hawk, must you?
Lois Lane: Sorry.
Larry Smiley: [to Superman] She is a challenge.
Brian (Male Lemur): Okay. So maybe I was rash. I said I was sorry. I only had our best interests at heart.
Lois Lane: Ha!
[Lois is thinking about how Brian's words remind of what Clark has told her. But in so loudly making her feelings known by saying "ha", Lois once again has interrupted the "Lemur" couple. All of the attendees stare at her disapprovingly.]
Lois Lane: It-- It's none of my business. Sorry.
Female Lemur: Superman, what do you think?
[Superman looks very uncomfortable.]
Superman: Well, I'm no expert. But . . . I think if you really care about someone and they make a mistake, because they're only human, after all, and they sincerely apologize . . . I think you forgive them.
[The crowd claps upon hearing Superman's words. Lois Lane's face shows she clearly recognizes that Superman is really talking about his relationship with her. Superman is expressing the fact that he feels Lois should forgive him for the mistake he made in trying to break up with her to keep her out of harm's way.]
Lois Lane: A mistake's one thing. But this is a whole attitude. You know, just because somebody says "I love you", it doesn't put them in charge of your whole life.
Superman: True. But saying "I love you" does mean that I would never hurt you on purpose. And maybe I'll make more mistakes along the way, just as you will. But we'll learn from them, and . . . move on.
[The crowd claps once again at Superman's words. Lois Lane thinks about what Superman has just said to her.]
Larry Smiley: [to Superman] Son, you pack a lot of horse sense in them tight britches.
Superman: [chuckles] Thank you. [stands up, addresses the crowd] I really do have to go. You guys keep up the good work.
[Superman flies away at super speed. Almost immediately after Superman exits the room, Clark Kent stumbles in. Clark scratches his chest.]
Clark Kent: Finally got that poisoned oak under control.
Female Lemur: You missed it! He was . . . wonderful!
Clark Kent: [to Lois] What did you think?
Lois Lane: I thought he made some interesting points.
[Fade to black. End of scene.]
Timecode: 31 minutes, 30 seconds: Night time at the retreat. Lois Lane and Clark Kent walk back to their cabin after a day of activities.
Clark Kent: You know, I don't think this group therapy stuff is so bad.
Lois Lane: I thought the wild applause was a bit excessive.
Clark Kent: And you're convinced this note's from Kathy?
Lois Lane: Yeah. I think she wants to tell us what she never got to tell Michelle Sitkowitz.
[Apparently Clark Kent and Lois Lane are heading to the Meditation Tree to meet with Kathy, as requested in the note that was thrown through their window. Lois and Clark have reached the meeting spot. Nobody else is there.]
Clark Kent: Unless it's a hoax. Or a trap.
Lois Lane: Maybe she just got--
[A shoe drops from above them.]
Lois Lane: --cold feet.
[Lois looks up. The murdered body of camp worker Kathy is in the Meditation Tree. Ominous music plays on the underscore.]
Clark Kent: Oh boy.
[Clark looks around to make sure nobody is watching. He floats up to the branches of the tree.]
Clark Kent: Lois, it's Kathy. She's dead.
[Lois Lane looks inside Kathy's shoe. She pulls a worn, browning piece of paper from the shoe. End of scene.]
Timecode: 32 minutes, 32 seconds: It is still night time at the retreat. Lois and Clark let themselves into the empty conference room. Outside, Larry Smiley talks to a police officer.
Larry Smiley: Well, I always knew that little girl had trouble. Many's the time her tears washed down my shoulders. But suicide? Hm. Who'd a ever thought it?
[Cut to where Lois and Clark are. Clark Kent unfolds the piece of paper that Lois found in Kathy's shoe.]
BELOW: Lois Lane and Clark Kent have found a page from an ancient book, written in what looks like Hebrew:
Clark Kent: It's ancient. Torn from a book. I can read a lot of languages but . . . [Clark Kent shakes his head. He can't read this.] It looks kinda like Hebrew, but I can't make it out.
Lois Lane: Well, she must have had some reason for wanting us to see it. Which one of these books do you think it came from?
[Clark Kent uses his super vision to quickly look at the covers of all the books on the book shelves.]
Clark Kent: None of them. They're all too new. There might be something in that next room.
Lois Lane: What next room?
[Clark Kent opens a secret panel. Lois Lane follows him into the hidden room.]
Lois Lane: Smiley must work in here. There are some files here divided into piles marked accepted and rejected candidates. Candidates for what? [looks at a few papers] Clark, we're in the "rejected" pile.
Clark Kent: Lois, don't you think that's probably a good thing?
Lois Lane: Well, I'd like to feel wanted. [reading the report about them] Smiley says we're not compatible. He says I don't trust you or respect you, and he doesn't know why you even put up with me.
Clark Kent: Heh. Lois, the guy's a murderer.
Lois Lane: [visibly upset] Of course I trust you! And I respect you more than anyone else I've ever met! And you know, if I do get angry, it's only because I have never opened up to somebody so much in my whole life, and it hurts me when I feel like that trust isn't returned. And, you know, you put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you.
[Clark is visibly moved by Lois Lane's sudden heartfelt words.]
Clark Kent: And . . . I love you . . . Did we just make up?
Lois Lane: I think so?
[Lois Lane and Clark Kent kiss passionately. They have their hands all over each other's head and back, and they knock some things off the table they're standing next to.]
Lois Lane: Can we maybe do this some place that's not so musty and owned by a killer?
[Clark Kent stops kissing Lois as he looks down and sees something that interests him.]
BELOW: Lois and Clark find the ancient book the Hebrew-like page came from:
Clark Kent: I-- I think I just found the book that this page came from.
[Clark Kent unfolds the page from Kathy's shoe and spreads it flat on the the open book on the table they are standing next to. The page fits perfectly against a fragment of a ripped page the book is opened to.]
Clark Kent: Yeah. It's a perfect fit but . . . probably a dead language. We're gonna need an expert to read this.
[Lois Lane pushes Clark's hand away from the book and wraps her arms around his neck so she can kiss him some more.]
Lois Lane: Well, we won't be able to find an expert at two o'clock in the morning.
[Clark Kent kisses Lois back for a few moments. Then Lois stops kissing Clark as she thinks of something.]
Lois Lane: Star. You could take it to Star.
Clark Kent: Star?
[End of scene.]
Timecode: 35 minutes, 37 seconds: Establishing shot: Exterior of Lois Lane's apartment building, the building she shares with her New Age psychic counsellor Star. Cut to inside Lois Lane's apartment. Star holds her fingers to her temple while she sways and hums a meditative sound. Clark Kent paces impatiently behind her while Star sways back and forth.
BELOW: Lois Lane's New Age psychic counsellor neighbor Star asks for silence so she can concentrate on contacting a spirit who can translate the ancient page:
Clark Kent: Anything? Lois says you can call up voices from the distant past and get 'em to speak through you.
[Star stops her swaying meditation and puts her hands up in the air.]
Star: Clark! Honey! Now, I know you're real stressed and want this to work and all, but you gotta do me an itty bitty favor.
Clark Kent: Sure. Anything. What?
Star: Shut up!
[Star goes back to her noisy, swaying meditation. Clark remains silent. End of scene.]
Timecode: 36 minutes, 5 seconds: Back at her cabin at the Smiley Institute retreat in the middle of the night, Lois is worried.
Lois Lane: Come on, Clark, where are you?
[A knock is head at the door.]
Lois Lane: Well, come in! Why are you so late?
[Lois opens the door. It isn't Clark, as she expected. Jimmy Olsen rushes into the room.]
Jimmy Olsen: I tried calling you, but you're not allowed to have a phone call, so I climbed the fence.
Lois Lane: What's wrong? What are you doing?
Jimmy Olsen: [out of breath] It's the Chief! Last time I saw him, he went to a concert with Alice. They never made it home and he didn't come to work.
Lois Lane: God. I bet it was Smiley.
[Lois and Jimmy notice light from the headlights of vehicles coming through the window of the cabin. They peer outside the window. A few pick up trucks are being loaded. Larry Smiley himself is directing the work.]
Larry Smiley: Okay, folks. Let's go, let's go! Your arm's too short to box with God. We're on a schedule, here. One more box. Now let's go!
BELOW: Larry Smiley quotes James Weldon Johnson: 'Your arm's too short to box with God':
[The loading done, the blue-shirted camp workers climb into the vehicles. Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen continue watching as the vehicles drive away.]
Lois Lane: Smiley and his people are abandoning camp.
[Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen sneak out of their cabin and sneak onto the back of a military-style truck that hasn't pulled out of camp yet.]
Timecode: 37 minutes, 6 seconds: In the cavernous room with suspended animation capsules, black-clothed workers make preparations, busying themselves around the various capsules. The vehicles from Smiley's retreat pull into the spacious room, which may be located in large warehouse. Larry Smiley gets out of the lead vehicle and addresses his many people.
Larry Smiley: All right, folks, let's show some hustle. The game is on!
[Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane sneak out of the back of the vehicle they were hiding in. The only have to walk a few feet before they are able to look up and see the secret this place contains: a massive wooden ark that looks like something right out of a painting depicting the Old Testament story of Noah.]
BELOW: Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen see the Biblical-style ark which Larry Smiley plans to use as a modern-day Noah:
[Larry Smiley stands underneath the huge ark and addresses his followers.]
BELOW: Larry Smiley apparently gets another phone call from God:
Larry Smiley: Well, folks, this is it. Lift off. T-minus zero. Anchors away. We only await . . . the sign.
[Unseen by anybody else there, Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen exchange looks.]
Larry Smiley: Boy, I hate waiting for the phone to ring. Don't you?
[Larry and everybody else present wait. Suddenly Larry's face lights up as if he heard a sound. Nobody else hear anything, but he appears to have hear a phone ringing.]
Larry Smiley: There it is!
[Larry strides purposefully over to the red phone on a wooden pedestal. This is probably the same phone that he ostensibly used to talk God earlier in the episode. He picks up the phone's handset and holds it to his ear and mouth.]
Larry Smiley: Hello?
[Larry holds the phone's mouthpiece to his chest and addresses his followers.]
Larry Smiley: Yep, it's him!
[Cries of joy and excitement can be heard from among the followers. Larry puts the handset back to his ear.]
Larry Smiley: Yes, sir. . . Yes, sir. All systems are go, sir! . . . Well, thank you, and vaya con dios to you too, sir.
["Vaya con dios" is a common Spanish expression that means "Go with God."]
[Larry Smiley hangs up the phone. He is positively beaming. The crowd is jubilant.]
Larry Smiley: [to followers] It's gonna be a heck of a storm, boys and girls.
BELOW: Larry Smiley, after the would-be Noah talks to God: It's gonna be a heck of a storm:
[The crowd of followers cheers and claps enthusiastically. Larry Smiley walks through the crowd.]
BELOW: Forty days and forty nights...
Larry Smiley: Forty days and forty nights. The flood'll wipe out all mankind but for that which floats with us in the ark.
[Larry gestures toward the ark. The crowd claps again.]
Jimmy Olsen: Oh, man, it's just like Waterworld.
Lois Lane: Only cheaper.
[Larry Smiley walks over to the controls of his flood-making super-machine. He flips some switches. LED lights light up and the machine hums to life. The machine fires a blue beam of light into the night sky. Larry looks at the suspended animation capsule containing his mother.
BELOW: To cause a flood that will wipe out mankind, Larry Smiley activates the Aqua Plus 1000 Storm Maker:
Larry Smiley: Darlin', we're about to be joined together once more. Hello, Mama.
Lois Lane: Boy, this guy's got real problems.
Timecode: 39 minutes, 8 seconds: Lois Lane's apartment. Star is still swaying and humming and meditating. Suddenly she stops. She opens her mouth and speaks with an incredibly deep voice. It is definitely not her own voice. She is channeling an ancient spirit.
BELOW: New Age psychic Star channels the ancient Hebrew prophet Landicus:
Star/spirit of Landicus: I am the Citizen Landicus, philosopher and prophet. Who seeketh me?
[Clark is a little surprised by this. But he takes it in stride because he needs help.]
Clark Kent: Uh . . . I do.
[Star's head (possessed by Landicus) turns to look at Clark.]
Star/spirit of Landicus: Seeker. Eager for an exchange of thought and prophecy?
Clark Kent: Well, actually . . . No . . . Citizen Landicus. [Clark unfolds the ancient page] I wanted to know if you could read this piece of paper?
[Landicus (in Star's body) looks down at the paper. End of scene.]
Timecode: 39 minutes, 39 seconds: Back at the site of Larry Smiley's ark, Lois and Jimmy are sneaking around. They look at the many bodies frozen in suspended animation. Jimmy sees Perry White.
Jimmy Olsen: Lois!
[Jimmy and Lois both walk over to Perry's capsule and look at their sleeping boss with great concern. Before they can do or say anything, they hear Larry Smily approaching. They duck out of the way and hide.]
Larry Smiley: All right, look lively, folks. Let's load 'em up!
[Larry notices something doesn't look right. In two of the capsules he sees Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen, pretending to be in suspended animation.]
Larry Smiley: Hold it, hold it, hold it. Here's a candidate who didn't make the cut!
[Lois Lane opens her eyes.]
Larry Smiley: Female Hawk, I distinctly recall eliminating you from the New Dawn.
Lois Lane: You're right. I'm definitely not worthy. Jimmy, let's just go.
[Lois and Jimmy try to get out of the capsules, but they are locked in.]
Larry Smiley: I can see we're gonna have to do a whole lot better job of eliminatin'.
[Lois and Jimmy pound on the walls of their capsules, but they can't get out.]
[End of scene.]
Timecode: 40 minutes, 36 seconds: Inside Lois Lane's apartment. Star/Landicus reads the ancient page presented by Clark.
BELOW: Clark Kent recognizes the story that Citizen Landicus reads from the Dead Sea Scroll page he found - the story of Noah and his ark:
Star/spirit of Landicus: The language is ancient. Aramaic. It is a passage from what you call the Dead Sea Scrolls. [reading and translating] "The end of all flesh is come before me. And the Earth is filled with violence through them. And, behold, I will destroy them from the Earth. They entered the ark, male and female. And the Lord shut them in..."
Clark Kent: This is the story of Noah and his ark?
Star/spirit of Landicus: Verily.
BELOW: Clark Kent: Smiley thinks he's Noah!
Clark Kent: Smiley's nabbing couples. The guy said he wants two of every kind. Oh, man! Smiley thinks he's Noah!
[Lightning lights up the room. The outside sky is shown. Storm clouds gather and lightning bolts arc across the sky. Larry Smiley's machine appears to be working.]
Timecode: 41 minutes, 17 seconds: Back at Smiley's base.
Larry Smiley: Whoo-ee! This storm is the daddy of 'em all, folks! I sure wouldn't want to be any where near the lightning rod. But then, that's just me.
[The camera pans up to the roof where we see Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen tied to the building's towering lightning rod. They struggle against the cords that bind them, but they can't get free. The sky is stormy all around them and the sky is filled with lightning.]
Jimmy Olsen: Lois, you don't really think he could flood the Earth, do you?
Lois Lane: No, Jimmy. It's this turning us into toast thing that's got me worried.
[The lightning strikes seems to be getting closer to them.]
Jimmy Olsen: All right, well, since this is it, I'm-- I'm gonna confess that, well, I-- I used to have a little crush on you. In fact, I-- I had this dream...
[We can't hear what Jimmy says next because there is a cut to show Superman zooming through the stormy night sky.]
Jimmy Olsen: ..and then you took my hand and said, "Jimmy, I can make a man of you."
[Jimmy is very, very scared at this point. Lois Lane rolls her eyes and is annoyed that she has to hear Jimmy talk about his dream about her. Superman flies to Lois and Jimmy and rescues them just before they are killed by lightning. Superman frees them from the ropes and flies away.]
Jimmy Olsen: Ah, Lois . . . Panic makes a man say some strange things sometimes, and I was, uh, wondering if you could sort of forget what I--
Lois Lane: [holding her hand up to stop him from saying any more.] Trust me.
[Jimmy nods his head, getting the message that she will never repeat any of what he said to her in his moment of peril and terror.]
[Superman looks down from the roof of Smiley's building. He peers through the same hole that the super-machines's beam is emenating from.]
BELOW: Superman confronts would-be modern-day Noah, Larry Smiley:
Superman: All right, Smiley! Shut it off!
Larry Smiley: You can't stop this! This day has been foretold!
Superman: Only by you, Smiley! That's not enough.
[Superman jumps through the hole in the roof and falls toward the machine, blocking its beam with his own chest. Feedback from being blocked that way destroys the machine.]
Larry Smiley: [screaming] Nooooo!
[With the machine destroyed, Superman walks toward Larry Smiley, who is cowering next to the red phone on the pedestal - the phone he had previously been by his followers using to talk to God. Superman knocks the phone off its pedestal and it clatters, broken, on the cement floor.]
Larry Smiley: Just brilliant. Now you've ruined everything. That machine was the source of all power in the New Dawn. [gesturing to the suspended animation capsules] It was supposed to bring them back. Now they'll all die.
[Superman uses his heat vision on a suspended animation capsule. Then another. They warm up, and the people inside wake up.]
Arnold Sitkowitz: [upon waking up] Michelle.
Michelle Sitkowitz: Arnold.
[Lois Lane watches this. Perry White wakes up in his capsule.]
Perry White: Olsen! Late edition get put to bed?
Jimmy Olsen: [chuckles at his boss's dedication to the newspaper.] Yeah, Chief. It did. [Looks over and sees his wife in an adjoining capsule.] Alice! Alice, are you all right, Honey?
[Perry smiles as he sees that his wife is okay. Nearby, Larry Smiley is kneeling before the capsule that contains his mother.]
Larry Smiley: Oh, Mama, please forgive me. Oh, Mama!
[Larry Smiley's mother wakes up in he capsule. She looks down at Larry and speaks sternly.]
Larry Smiley's mother: Lawrence, you have been a very naughty boy!
[In the sky, the clouds rapidly dissipate.]
Timecode: 44 minutes, 18 seconds: Cut to Lois Lane's apartment. Superman delivers Lois home through her window.
Superman: Smiley had given up on people finding happiness together. I haven't. Have you?
Lois Lane: No.
Superman: But we keep messing up. Why is that?
Lois Lane: Well, first of all, people mess up. And I think adjusting to the whole idea of marriage, along with adjusting to everything else we've been going through is just making us both a little nuts.
Superman: So . . .
Lois Lane: So . . . Maybe we should just take a little break from the whole idea of marriage. Not even say the M-word. And just be in love.
Superman: I can do that.
Lois Lane: It's a lot of pressure, this forever thing.
Superman: It's not the M-word that makes it forever for me, Lois. My love is forever because . . . because it just is.
[Superman kisses Lois Lane tenderly on the lips for a brief second. He turns and floats out the window, then flies away.]
Lois Lane: Wow.
[Lois looks and touches where a ring would be on her ring finger.]
[End of scene. End of episode. Roll closing credits.]