Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
Season 3, Episode 8 (19 Nov. 1995): “Chip Off the Old Clark”
by Michael Jamin, Sivert Glarum, Michael W. Watkins

Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - Season 3, Episode 8

Title: “Chip Off the Old Clark”

Medium: television series episode

Original airdate: 19 Nov. 1995

Publisher:
Written by: Michael Jamin, Sivert Glarum
Directed by: Michael W. Watkins

7 characters in this story:

Character (Click links for info about character and his/her religious practice, affiliation, etc.)	Religious Affiliation	Team(s) [Notes]	Pub.	# app.
Superman (Clark Kent)	Methodist / Kryptonian religion	Kryptonians; Super Friends...  The Justice League		13,409
Lois Lane	Catholic	Raleigh College [Superman's girlfriend, then wife]		3,859
Jimmy Olsen	Lutheran	The Legion of Super-Heroes [Superman's pal]		1,896
Perry White	Baptist; Elvis worship (ordained)	[Superman's (Clark Kent's) boss; Daily Planet editor]		1,574
Jonathan Kent	Methodist	[Superman's adoptive father]		816
Martha Kent	Methodist	[Superman's adoptive mother]		827
Dr. Bernard Klein		[scientist]		16

Timecode: 0 minutes, 0 seconds: Lois Lane and Clark are in Clark's apartment. He is cooking dinner for her. Lois Lane admires her engagement ring, which she finally wears after many episodes in between when Clark asked her to marry her and when she finally gave him a definitive "yes."

Lois Lane: It's funny about this thing. I look down at it every day. I'm almost surprised to see it there. I think about what it means, and about you.

Clark Kent: And how long it took you to finally put it on.

Lois Lane: [chuckles] Yeah, that too. We've been through a lot.

Clark Kent: A lot? Lois, salmon swimming upstream haven't had the mating troubles we've had.

Lois Lane: Yeah. Well, now we're just an old amost married couple. And it'll be like this forever. You cooking. Me watching.

Clark Kent: What, you never cooking?

Lois Lane: Hm. Not really something I do.

Clark Kent: I thought it was just lack of time.

Lois Lane: No, no. Lack of talent.

[They giggle.]

Clark Kent: Well, I guess there's all kinds of things about you I still have to find out.

Lois Lane: And me about you. You don't have any really big surprises, do you?

Clark Kent: Did I mention the flying?

Lois Lane: [chuckles] I only marry men who fly.

[They kiss. They start to kiss more. The phone rings. Clark picks it up.]

Clark Kent: Hello . . . Hi, Jimmy . . . Yeah, I'm kinda busy right now . . . Uh, yeah . . . Okay, fine. Fine, fine, fine. Bye. [Hangs up.] Jimmy says that we have to turn on Channel Six right now.

Lois Lane: Uh! Wait, I was just about to find out all the juicy stuff about you.

[Clark turns on the TV.]

Reporter: Tonight, a Top Copy exclusive. We take you live to the home of Miss Leigh-Anne Stipanovic.

[A woman steps out of the front door to her house. She speaks directly into the TV news camera.]

Leigh-Anne Stipanovic: Yes, it's true. I can remain silent no more. I had Superman's love child.

[Lois looks at Clark with shock on her face. He is surprised and confused by what he heard this woman say. Of course he knows it isn't true. He shakes his head, silently telling Lois that of course this isn't true.]

This entire episode focuses on Lois and Clark investigating this woman's claims. Leigh-Anne Stipanovic seems like something of a trailer trash woman from a rural area. Overall, she's a fairly nice person who wants best for her son Jesse, but she is lying. Many people, including at times Lois Lane, doubt Superman and believe the woman's story. Her son Jesse (who appears to be four or five years old) does indeed have powers like Superman, which lends credence to her story. This incident causes tension between Lois and Clark, who are newly officially engaged. Lois Lane's trust in Clark is tested.

Eventually, Lois and Clark learn how Leigh-Anne Stipanovic's received a portion of Superman's powers. Superman rescued an airplane during a lightning storm, and he was hit by lightning while next to the window that the woman's young son was sitting at. The lightning strike caused some of Superman's power to be transferred to the little boy. Clark Kent and Superman bond somewhat with the boy, feeling he is a kindred spirit facing some of the same challenges that Clark faced while growing up.

Timecode: 11 minutes, 30 seconds: The episode's guest villain, known only as "Anonymous," talks with the nationalist radical who has hired him to steal launch codes from an enemy country. "Anonymous" is a terrorist who wears a mask and sun glasses when he isn't in disguise. He is a mercenary willing to help terrorists. Eventually he kidnaps Jesse (the little boy that Leigh-Anne Stipanovic claims is Superman's son), in order to use the boy as a hostage to get Superman to do his bidding. His reputation is known by people in America, including Lois and Clark, but nobody knows his identity, nobody knows his voice and nobody knows what he looks like.

Timecode: 13 minutes, 9 seconds: The Daily Planet offices:

Perry White: Uh, Lois, you got that Superman story yet?

Lois Lane: I guess.

Perry White: I know, honey, it's awfully demoralizing when one of our heroes falls.

Lois Lane: I don't know the half of it. You are aware there's a chance Superman didn't do this?

Perry White: Now, Lois, you and I have been newspeople long enough to know that if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, tastes good with plumb sauce, it is a duck.

Clark Kent: [walking up] What's a duck?

Perry White: Well, I was just telling Lois she shouldn't let her friendship with Superman cloud her professional objectivity.

Clark Kent: Why, did she judge him and find him innocent?

Lois Lane: Not exactly. The jury's deadlocked.

Perry White: See. That's exactly why we shouldn't put people on pedestals. But, you know, I guess even Superman's entitled to a checkered past...

[Perry walks away.]

Clark Kent: Lois, I do not have a "checkered past."

Lois Lane: Perry's right. People shouldn't expect more from Superman than any other guy...

Clark Kent: I thought we put this whole thing behind us.

Lois Lane: Well, your shadow's behind you and you can't shake it...

Clark Kent: Lois, I can handle anyone else thinking what they want to think about me, but you can't tell me that you think--

Lois Lane: I don't know what I think.

Clark Kent: What you do know is that I love you.

Lois Lane: But what about before. I mean, neither of us was born on the day we fell in love. So I guess I don't have the right to get upset about something that happened before then. But it upsets me. It really upsets me. [sigh] And everywhere I go, it's all I hear, and it upsets me.

Clark Kent: You mentioned that.

Lois Lane: [sigh]

Clark Kent: The thing is, I wouldn't lie to you.

Lois Lane: See, the thing is, you did. Every day. For three years. And . . . then there's this.

[Lois shows Clark the photograph that Leigh-Anne Stipanovic gave her. The photo shows Superman posing with Leigh-Anne Stipanovic.]

Lois Lane: The guys in the photo lab assure me it's authentic.

Clark Kent: Lois, do you have any idea how many thousands of people I pose with?

Lois Lane: Do you have any idea how many toddlers can balance a sofa on their pinkie finger?

[Clark says nothing. He has no explanation. Lois Lane's suspicions are logical.]

Lois Lane: Look, I'm tired and I'm pretty emotional, and I'm just-- I'm gonna go home and pace.

Clark Kent: Okay, fine, then we can--

Lois Lane: Alone.

[Clark looks at Lois. His eyes are pleading for her to trust him.]

Lois Lane: I'm sorry, I just . . . need to clear my head.

[Clark shakes his head as she walks out of the office. He looks at the photo again. He uses his microscopic vision to look closer at the mailbox in the picture. It is labelled "Ding-Dong Motel." He calls to Jimmy, who he will ask to help find out what town the hotel is in.]

Timecode: 16 minutes, 0 seconds: When Clark Kent arrives home at his apartment after work, his parents are there.

Clark Kent: Boy, I must be in trouble if the cavalry is here.

Martha Kent: Oh, hi, Sweetie. Are you okay?

Clark Kent: Fine.

Jonathan Kent: We never watch those tabloid shows, but the Smallville Press has turned its whole front page over to Superman's love child.

Clark Kent: I do not have a love child.

Martha Kent: Of course, you don't!

Jonathan Kent: It's an impossibility!

Martha Kent: It's laughable, really!

[Clark Kent was walking away from his parents, listening to them while putting some mail away. Hearing his parents' words, however, he turns ask why they say the idea is "laughable." Perhaps he is being overly sensitive, feeling that they are dismissing physical manhood.]

Clark Kent: Laughable? Guys, c'mon . . . I mean . . . I have dated.

Martha Kent: Oh.

Jonathan Kent: No, no, no. What we mean is, we raised you to be responsible. If anything like this did occur we know you'd live up to your obligations.

Martha Kent: And if you say this woman is not the mother of your child, she's not the mother of your child. It's just laughable.

Jonathan Kent: How's Lois?

Clark Kent: Not laughing.

Martha Kent: Oh, well, of course she'd e bewildered by all this. You have to expect that.

Clark Kent: You know Lois. She wants an explanation for everything. And the only explanation I can give her on this whole thing is: I don't know.

Timecode: 18 minutes, 56 seconds: Leigh-Anne Stipanovic has been served with a subpoena ordering her to undergo a DNA test to see if there is a genetic match between he son and Superman. She is worried about this because although she has been publically maintaining her story that her son Jesse is Superman's son, she knows that her story is false. Her son isn't related to Superman at all, and a DNA test would no doubt prove this. An attorney is advising her, telling her she should go ahead with the test.

Attorney: My dear, you have nothing to worry about... The test will either show that Superman is the father, or not.

Leigh-Anne Stipanovic: And how is that last one a-- a good thing?

Attorney: Oh, well, I will bring in opposing experts, to argue that the DNA tests are inconclusive or contaminated or the result of tampering or part of a conspiracy.

Leigh-Anne Stipanovic: Is that legal?

Attorney: My dear, it's the backbone of the entire legal system. But we won't have to worry about that, will we, because the little tyke is the son of Superman, isn't he?

Leigh-Anne Stipanovic: [long pause] Of course, yeah. It-- It's just that my family doesn't do so well on tests.

Timecode: 19 minutes, 34 seconds: Outside S.T.A.R. Labs. Superman and Jesse are scheduled to arrive for DNA tests. A crowd of protestors has gathered to hold up signs, chant slogand and basically show public disapproval for Superman over the news that he fathered a "love child." These representatives of the public clearly do not look favorably on the a super-hero who is seen as a role model having a child out of wedlock and then (to make matters worse), not acting as a father to the child by providing emotional or financial support. The public seems quick to judge Superman, believing the stories told by Leigh-Anne Stipanovic even though no clear proof has yet been established. The crowd chants "Super-Hero. Super-Zero!" They hold up handmade signs with slogans such as:
- "Super Stud is a Dud"
- "Be a Man Superman"
- "Super Kids Need Super Dads"
- "Superman Can't Fly Above the LAW"

[Superman lands in the middle of the crowd of protesters. Reporters as well as protestors want to talk to him. He makes an announcement for everybody to hear, including the TV cameras.]

Superman: [silencing the questioning crowd] Okay. Okay. Okay. [after they have become quiet] All of you know me. And . . . what I won't stand for. I've always tried to protect the weak and the helpless. And that's why I'm here today. To protect this little boy from any more of this. [motioning to the crowd]

Man from crowd: [shouting, off camera] Look! It's Jesse and Leigh-Anne!

[The crowd of journalists leaves Superman and rushes to get a glimpse of the young super-powered boy Jesse who is thought to be Superman's "love child" (i.e., bastard son).]

[Leigh-Anne Stipanovic brought her son Jesse to a large gathering of reporters and TV cameras outside S.T.A.R. Labs. She and Superman are scheduled to be there to have a DNA comparison test performed. She craves attention and even dressed her son up in a little Superman costume. But as journalists crowded around the boy, he became agitated and started using his super-breath to repel them, forcing many of them back and blowing some of them many feet into the air, of which could have caused serious injury to somebody. Superman was present many yards away, trying to dissuade reporters from bothering Jesse. He saw what Jesse was doing and rushed to him. He picked up Jesse and took him to a private place inside S.T.A.R. Labs to have an important talk with the boy about the importance of using his powers responsibly.]

Timecode: 21 minutes, 16 seconds:

Superman: [to little Jesse] Sometimes it's hard, isn't it? Being different?

[Jesse nods yes. He is sitting next to Superman, quietly listening to the older hero.]

Superman: Sometimes it's scary. And sometimes, you get mad. And it'd be easy to hurt people because you're so strong. But . . . see . . . the cool thing is that we can do good for people. And most people, Jesse . . . Most people are good. Even those crazy ones outside. So . . . any questions?

Jesse: Are you my Daddy?

[Dr. Klein walks into the room, greeting Superman and Jesse. He obtains hair samples from Superman and Jesse, which he will use to perform a DNA comparison test. (He would be unable to penetrate their skin with a needle to obtain blood, but their hair can also be used to perform the test.) Superman asks how long until the get results back. Dr. Klein says that because of the complexity of their DNA, he expects results will take longer than usual - between four months to a year at the most. Superman is surprised and dismayed to hear this. The uncertainty surrounding Jesse and his relationship to Leigh-Anne Stipanovic continues to be the source of considerable speculation in the media and disapproval by the public. Superman wants the questions about this answered and the matter resolved as soon as possible, but obviously he will have to find answers some other way if he wants them any time soon.]

[The episode's principle villain, the terrorist known only as "Anonymous", uses his ability to disguise his voice as anybody to lure Clark Kent and Leigh-Anne Stipanovic to meet with each other at a downtown park. While they are there, Anonymous kidnaps Jesse. Leigh-Anne Stipanovic left Jesse with her attorney - Donald Rafferty. Except he isn't really an attorney, he was really Anonymous. Once Clark and Leigh-Anne Stipanovic realize that neither of them actually called the other to the meeting, the realize that it was a trick, and the rush back to Leigh-Anne Stipanovic's home. Jesse is gone when they arrive. Police are called to the scene. Clark Kent stares at Jesse's abandoned miniature Superman cape. Clark clearly has a strong feeling of connection to the boy. He talks to Lois Lane privately.

Timecode: 27 minutes, 39 seconds:

Clark Kent: It's strange. I mean, he's not my son. But I do feel close to him, in a way that's just-- In a way I can't explain.

Lois Lane: Maybe it's because you lived what he's living. Or maybe it's because you're the most caring person I ever met. And the most honest.

[Lois here appears to be forgiving Clark, or showing she no longer suspects him of being the father of Jesse. She has been harsh and suspicious toward him for much of the episode up until now, since hearing about the "love child." But now she is soft and sweet. She clearly wants to put this behind her.]

Lois Lane: I amaze myself sometimes. I'm so used to having to track down the truth, always thinking that things aren't what they appear to be. I forget sometimes that the truth is just staring me in the face.

Clark Kent: And the truth is?

Lois Lane: The truth is what you tell me. And what I tell you. Because that's the kind of relationship we have.

Clark Kent: Lois, the best day of my life was the day that you found that I was Superman. That meant no more secrets. I'm done hiding things from you.

Lois Lane: I know. I guess I'm just still getting used to that. Come on.

[Lois touches Clark on the shoulder and starts to walk out of the home with him. End of scene.]

[Disguised as attorney Donald Rafferty, "Anonymous" hires a computer hacker to hack into the missile defense system of the country whose radical terrorists have hired him. He plans to obtain the missile launch codes from the president of that country, who he will kidnapped, and then he intends to launch nuclear missiles at the enemies of the terrrorists who hired him. First, however, he murders the computer hacker he hired as son as the hapless man finishes his work for Anonymous.]

Timecode: 30 minutes, 10 seconds:

Computer hacker: Ha! I'm in!

Anonymous: What? Oh, that's wonderful.

Computer hacker: Now all you need are the launch codes.

Anonymous: And we'll have them! Well, that was excellent work, my boy. Excellent work.

Computer hacker: Well, don't bother thanking me. Just send the cash.

[Anonymous laughs.]

Computer hacker: Good luck with the kid. [Referring to Jesse, who was making quite a racket while the hacker worked.] He was starting to give me a headache.

Anonymous: Really? Then by all means, take two of these.

[Anonymous reveals a handgun he had been concealing. He shoots the computer twice in the back, killing him. Anonymous laughs at his victim.]

Anonymous: Check's in the mail.

[Anonymous turns his back on the fallen body. He will soon abandon this secret lair. He doesn't even bother to dispose of the body. He just waves his hand at the body dismissively and turns away. Anonymous is truly a stone-cold killer.]

Timecode: 35 minutes, 57 seconds: Anonymous used tricked Jesse into helping him kidnap the leader of the nation whose radical terrorists hired him. From this national leader Anonymous plans to extract that country's nuclear launch codes. Dr. Klein rushes into the Daily Planet office with Leigh-Anne Stipanovic.

Leigh-Anne Stipanovic: Miss Lane! Miss Lane! Dr. Klein, he's got some news. Where's Mr. Kent?

Lois Lane: Uh, he's helping Superman look for Jesse. We think we got a lead.

[Leigh-Anne Stipanovic clasps her hands together and briefly tilts her head up as if addressing Heaven.]

Leigh-Anne Stipanovic: Oh, thank you, God!

[This doesn't look like simply an off-the-cuff profane utterance. It appears as if Leigh-Anne is uttering a quick but sincere prayer of thanks to God.]

[Dr. Klein informs Lois Lane what he learned after analyzing Jesse's hair sample: Jesse's powers are rapidly disappearing. He will probably lose them entirely soon, and if he continues to exert himself, trying to use super strength or his other powers, he could severely injure himself.]

Timecode: 39 minutes, 50 seconds: Anonymous (disguised as attorney Donald Rafferty) manages to kidnap the president of the country whose terrorists hired him. He uses truth serum to obtain the nuclear launch codes from this president. Just before he is about to launch a nuclear missile, Lois Lane appears on the scene (having figured out where his hideout is). Lois holds something to his back that feels like a gun (but really isn't). Lois tries to stop Anonymous from launching a nuclear missile, but he tricks Jesse into pushing the launch button. A nuclear missile really is launched by one tiny European nation toward its longtime rival neighbor. This is what the terrorist from that country wanted, but not what the majority of that country's people wanted. The president of that country was in Metropolis for peace talks with representatives from his country's longtime rival nation. Anonymous openly tells his captives that he doesn't care about any of the politics involved in all this. All he cares about is getting paid. He is willing to launch a nuclear missile at a large populated city just for a paycheck.

Fortunately, Superman stops the missile and apprehends Anonymous.

Timecode: 42 minutes, 19 seconds: In looking for the escaping Anonymous, Superman recognizes the slight, almost odorless scent of the professional-quality mask-making material used by the villain previously. He melts the old woman mask worn by Anonymous, revealing, for the first time, the true face of the villain.

The process of listing characters who appeared in this source is not yet complete. Webpage for Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - Season 3, Episode 8 (19 Nov. 1995) created 22 April 2008. Last modified 11 June 2014.

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