Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
Season 2, Episode 13 (12 Feb. 1995): “The Phoenix”
by Tony Blake, Paul Jackson, Philip Sgriccia

Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - Season 2, Episode 13

Title: “The Phoenix”

Medium: television series episode

Original airdate: 12 Feb. 1995

Publisher:
Written by: Tony Blake, Paul Jackson
Directed by: Philip Sgriccia

7 characters in this story:

Character (Click links for info about character and his/her religious practice, affiliation, etc.)	Religious Affiliation	Team(s) [Notes]	Pub.	# app.
Superman (Clark Kent)	Methodist / Kryptonian religion	Kryptonians; Super Friends...  The Justice League		13,409
Lois Lane	Catholic	Raleigh College [Superman's girlfriend, then wife]		3,859
Jimmy Olsen	Lutheran	The Legion of Super-Heroes [Superman's pal]		1,896
Perry White	Baptist; Elvis worship (ordained)	[Superman's (Clark Kent's) boss; Daily Planet editor]		1,574
Jonathan Kent	Methodist	[Superman's adoptive father]		816
Martha Kent	Methodist	[Superman's adoptive mother]		827
Lex Luthor	Episcopalian (lapsed); Nietzschean atheist	Injustice League; Secret Six...  Secret Society of Super Villains; The Injustice Gang; The Legion of Doom		1,508

Timecode: 0 minutes, 53 seconds: In a secret underground lair beneath the streets of Metropolis, Gretchen (Lex Luthor's physician, and the woman who has been trying to revive his deceased body) has invited Lex Luthor's old assistant Nigel to assist her. Suddenly, Lex Luthor's vital signs, as monitored by the equipment Gretchen has him hooked up to, flatline.

Gretchen Kelly: No. Lex! No!

Nigel: It's over, Gretchen.

Gretchen Kelly: Oh, no.

Nigel: It was a noble experiment.

[Suddenly Lex Luthor's fist punches through the top of the glass casket he has been encased in since Gretchen stole his body from the morgue after he died months earlier.]

Gretchen Kelly: Lex?

[Lex Luthor's nearly naked body struggles to return to life. He pushes the lid of the casket open. He sits up.]

Gretchen Kelly: Lex.

Nigel: I can't believe it.

Lex Luthor: Believe it.

Timecode: 2 minutes, 50 seconds: Clark Kent is daydreaming about being out on a date with Lois Lane. In his day dream, Lois asks him: "Clark, what are you waiting for?" and starts to kiss him. But before she can do so, Perry White asks Clark a question and interrupts the day dream. After Clark comes back to reality, he has enough resolve to ask Lois something he has been wanting to ask for a while: He asks her out on a date. Lois is a bit surprised by the question. She doesn't know how to answer at first, but eventually she says that, yes, she will go out on a "real", official date with Clark. This first official date between Lois and Clark, which doesn't quite happen because the end up having to work together on a stakeout, is a major plot point in this episode.

Timecode: 5 minutes, 38 seconds: Jimmy Olsen brings Clark a package that was sent to him by a friend in the FBI. With his co-workers Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen, Clark looks over the photos and notes that were in the package.

Lois Lane: Clark, this is the woman that stole Lex Luthor's body.

Jimmy Olsen: Who's that guy?

[Clark reads the notes and documents in the package at super-speed, being careful to do so behind the back of his co-workers so they don't see him using super powers.]

Lois Lane: That's Nigel St. John. He used to be Lex's personal assistant.

Clark Kent: Get this. They've identified the woman in the photograph as Gretchen Kelly. She was Luthor's doctor.

Lois Lane: Maybe that explains her fascination with his body.

Clark Kent: That's not all. Turns out Nigel was more than Luthor's Mr. Belvedere. He was an agent with Her Majesty's Secret Service gone bad.

Lois Lane: Well, this says that that photo was taken recently in Metropolis. The agent who took the photo has disappeared.

Jimmy Olsen: Disappeared, huh? I guess being a photographer is more dangerous than we thought.

[Clark Kent uses his super vision to look at a tiny detail in the photograph. He sees that Nigel St. John and Gretchen Kelly are exchanging a piece of paper. On the paper is written the name "Sheldon Bender."]

Clark Kent: Uh, maybe Sheldon Bender knows something.

Jimmy Olsen: Luthor's attorney? Why him?

Clark Kent: Well, it's just-- God knows everything, and attorneys seem to think they're God.

Lois Lane: Uh, Jimmy, why don't you take this over to Perry and tell him we're on it.

Jimmy Olsen: Got it.

Timecode: 6 minutes, 56 seconds: The secret underground lair under the streets of Metropolis, where Lex Luthor is staying now that Gretchen has brought him back to life. We see Lex Luthor, still with a full head of hair just like he had in the first season of this TV series, all the way up until he died. Lex Luthor is tapping at a laptop computer, using it to check is bank accounts.

Lex Luthor: It's gone. This weasel Bender has swindled me out of my entire fortune.

Gretchen Kelly: Lex, you should be resting. This can wait.

Nigel: What about the, uh, Swiss bank accounts?

[Luthor uses the computer to check them. They are all empty as well.]

Lex Luthor: Swiss . . . Huh! Empty. I'm broke. And death I could deal with, Nigel, but to be broke, no money, no power . . . that's not something I'm prepared for.

Nigel: Well, knowing you, sir, I'm sure it's just a temporary condition.

Lex Luthor: The money, perhaps. But true power lies in the possession of Kryptonite. Until I find it, I'm nothing. Well. First things first. Nigel, I'd like you to arrange a little meeting with Mr. Bender.

Nigel: Yes, sir.

Lex Luthor: And, Nigel, stop the "sir." No need for facades. Look at this. We are what we are.

Nigel: And what is that?

Lex Luthor: Ordinary street fighters, like the old days.

Gretchen Kelly: I've never thought there was anything "ordinary" about you, Lex.

Lex Luthor: Thank you, my dear. you're absolutely right.

[Gretchen runs her fingers through Lex Luthor's hair. A clump of hair pulls out. She looks at it in her fingers. Lex notices it, too.]

Lex Luthor: What's this?

[Lex Luthor picks up a shard of mirror and looks at his face and hair. He pulls at locks of hair and sees that they come out of scalp easily.] What have you done to me?!

Gretchen Kelly: Lex, your body has been through a tremendous ordeal. You're bound to experience some temporary side effects. You need to rest.

Lex Luthor: All right, shave it off. Don't just stand there, shave it off.

[Gretchen starts to shave all of Lex Luthor's hair off.]

Lex Luthor: Nigel, I want you do to me a favor. I want you to find out whatever you can about Lois Lane.

[Upon hearing Lois Lane's name, Gretchen intentionally nicks Lex Luthor's scalp with the scissors she was using to cut all his hair off. She did this because she is deeply in love with Lex Luthor and she is jealous of Lois - the woman who Lex was engaged to and almost married.]

Lex Luthor: Ow! [Turns to look at Gretchen.] Well, it's a good thing you're not a surgeon.

[Nigel hires a criminal named Ramine Tarbush to help him and Gretchen kidnap Lex Luthor's former attorney Sheldon Bender. They take Bender to the underground lair. Upon arriving at their destination, Bender does not yet see Lex Luthor, who remains in the shadows. Bender does not realize who he is dealing with.]

Timecode: 10 minutes, 19 seconds:

Sheldon Bender: Look, if you are with Intergang--

Lex Luthor: What's Intergang?

Gretchen Kelly: A new crime organization in Metropolis.

Nigel: Oh, just a group of thugs, all substance and no style.

Lex Luthor: Didn't take long for the jackals to move in.

Sheldon Bender: Look . . . Look, whoever you are, I want you to know right now, you can't--

[Sheldon stops speaking in mid-sentence as Lex Luthor emerges from the shadows.]

Lex Luthor: Oh yes, I can.

Sheldon Bender: Lex--

Lex Luthor: Luthor. Your worst nightmare.

[Lex Luthor and his cohorts threaten Sheldon Bender with his life. They specifically threaten to drop him into a pit of rats. Lex Luthor is understandably mad that Sheldon Bender has stolen all of Lex Luthor's fortune - over a billion dollars. Lex wants the money back, although Sheldon Bender says it is tied up in real estate and will be difficult to liquidate. But what Lex Luthor wants even more than the money is Kryptonite, and Sheldon convinces Lex that he knows where some is. Bender offers to help Lex Luthor meet with Rollie Vale, the criminal who made Metallo in a previous episode. Vale stole the Kryptonite from Lex Labs and is the person most likely to know where some Kryptonite is.]

Timecode: 12 minutes, 15 seconds: A ticket broker returns Clark Kent's call. Clark was trying to buy tickets to a Pearl Jam weekend that will take place on in Metropolis on the upcoming weekend. He wants to take Lois there as their first date. Before he gives the ticket broker an answer to confirm that he wants to buy the tickets, he asks Lois if she has decided yet if she wants to go out on a date with him. Lois still isn't sure.

Clark Kent: Lois, this ticket broker's got two of the last Pearl Jam tickets for the concert tomorrow night. Would you like to go?

Lois Lane: Oh, right. The date thing. Uh . . . [Lois stands up and walks over to Clark's desk.] What about Mason?

[Lois here is referring to assistant district attorney Mayson Drake, who asked Clark out on a weekend date to the mountains in the previous episode. Clark didn't really want to go on that date with Mayson. Clark is actually in love with Lois, although he hasn't really told her this yet. Clark has never actually gone on a date with Mayson, although Lois seems to think that there is more to the relationship between Clark and Mayson than there really is.]

[It is also interesting to note that - in the subtitles - Mayson Drake's first name was spelled "Mason" in the first episode she appeared in, it was spelled "Mayson" in the episode previous to this one, and it is now back to being spelled "Mason."]

Clark Kent: The guy's only got two tickets.

[Clark is jokingly suggesting that if he could, he would take both Mayson (or "Mason") AND Lois on the same date]

Lois Lane: Clark . . .

Clark Kent: Lois, I'm asking you out.

Lois Lane: Okay, fair enough. It's a big deal. We work together. What happens if, you know, it bombs?

Clark Kent: We'll always be friends.

Ticket broker: Yo, Clark, you there? Hello!

Clark Kent: Yeah, I'm still here . . . I know . . . We both need an answer.

[Clark looks at Lois, hoping for an answer. She thinks a moment and smiles, hesitantly but pleasantly, finally agreeing to go out with him.]

Lois Lane: Okay.

Clark Kent: [to the ticket broker on the phone.] Okay, I'll take them.

Timecode: 13 minutes, 48 seconds:

Jimmy Olsen: I just came over to give you this report on the van. Turns out there's a trap door in the floor.

[This explains how Nigel and Gretchen were able to escape when they kidnapped Sheldon Bender, even though Superman stopped the van. When Superman looked inside the van, it was empty. The criminals had escaped with their kidnap victim down a manhole into the sewers.]

Lois Lane: Oh, so that's how Bender disappeared without anybody seeing him.

Clark Kent: Magic always seems to have an explanation.

Timecode: 15 minutes, 7 seconds: Lex Luthor disguises himself as an old man in a wheelchair. When Lois Lane comes out of her office building, the disguises Lex stops her and asks her to help him across the street.

Lex Luthor (disguised): Aren't you that reporter that almost married Lex Luthor?

Lois Lane: Uh, yeah.

Lex Luthor (disguised): Lois Lane, right? So tell me, what was that, uh, Luthor fellow like?

Lois Lane: Well, he was, uh, very magnetic and very charming. He was also a very dangerous criminal.

Lex Luthor (disguised): Ah, I see, but I hear you young women like them bad-boy types these days.

Lois Lane: Well, I don't think that's always true. I mean, I guess sometimes it is . . . Um, excuse me. I am late for an appointment.

[Lois Lane walks away. Nigel emerges from the shadows to talk to his boss. Lex Luthor takes his hate off, revealing now cleanshaven head.]

Lex Luthor: She's more beautiful than ever.

Nigel: Oh? And what about Gretchen?

Lex Luthor: What about her? She's my physician. She doesn't inspire me.

Nigel: I suppose it has occurred to you that Miss Lane might not come quite so easily this time.

Lex Luthor: "If I cannot prove the lover to entertain these fair, well-spoken days, I'm determined to prove the villain."

Nigel: [chuckles] Richard III, your favorite.

Lex Luthor: My hero. And like Richard, I will not be denied. I'll give her the chance to come willingly. If she won't come, I'll take her by force.

Nigel: After you get the Kryptonite.

Lex Luthor: Of course.

Timecode: 17 minutes, 54 seconds: Bender takes Nigel and Lex Luthor to see Rollie Vale in jail. This is the next step in Lex Luthor's quest to obtain some Kryptonite. Lex Luthor stays in the shadows at first, with sunglasses on. Vale does not recognize him.

Guard: You have five minutes, Rollie.

[Vale sits down at the desk in the visitation room.]

Rollie Vale: You Bender?

[Bender nods his head yes.]

Rollie Vale: Who are these bozos?

Sheldon Bender: I caution you on your choice of words, Mr. Vale.

Rollie Vale: Oh, yeah? Well, in case you haven't noticed, I'm in prison. What are you gonna do, charge me with being rude?

Lex Luthor: Of course now, Mr. Vale. I'll simply have you killed.

Rollie Vale: Oh, really? You and what--?

[Lex Luthor takes off his cap and sunglasses, so that Rollie Vale can see who he is.]

Rollie Vale: Luthor? How . . . ?

[Rollie Vale is very shocked. As far as he knew - as far as everyone knew - Lex Luthor was dead. How can the man be standing there before him now?]

Lex Luthor: There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Mr. Vale.

Rollie Vale: Sure. Okay. [Regaining his composure after the shock of seeing Lex Luthor alive.] So, what happened? Forget to bring your hair with you when you came back from the dead?

Timecode: 20 minutes, 36 seconds:

Sheldon Bender: Lex, whatever you're planning, I shouldn't hear about it.

Lex Luthor: Hear about it? You're going to be part of it. It'll require a little diversion to get the equipment we need. And I know the perfect sacrificial lamb.

Timecode: 25 minutes, 5 seconds: Note how Perry White's framed photograph of his idol - Elvis Presley - is clearly visible behind his desk in this scene.

Timecode: 25 minutes, 51 seconds: Lois Lane leaves the Daily Planet building late at night. She bumps into the same "old man" in a wheelchair that she met previously. It is Lex Luthor, disguised, and he has "bumped into" her intentionally.

Lex Luthor (disguised): Oh, excuse me I'm-- Well, well, Lois Lane. Heh! Imagine my good luck, running into you two days in a row. Yeah, I have something for you. Information about Lex Luthor, and the woman who stole his body.

Lois Lane: Who are you?

Lex Luthor (disguised): Do you know the story of the Phoenix?

Lois Lane: Yes. A sacred bird, reborn. Rising from its own ashes.

Lex Luthor (disguised): That's right. When I was a little boy, my mother told me that story.

[Lex Luthor takes off his hat, revealing his bald head. Of course, this does not cause Lois to recognize him yet, because she has never seen him bald before. Lex Luthor continues remove his disguise, taking off his glasses, fake moustache, and prosthetic pieces.]

Lex Luthor: And I . . . [standing up from his wheelchair] I always liked the part where he . . . came back from the dead.

[With these last words, Lex Luthor begins speaking with his regular (non-disguised) voice for the first time in this encounter. Lois finally realizes that this is Lex Luthor.]

Lex Luthor: It's good to see you again, Lois. Did you think I wouldn't come back for you? Yes, look at me. I've lost everything: my fortune, my reputation. Everything but my feeling for you. We must take the miracle of my resurrection as a sign. As a sign that even death can't keep us apart.

Lois Lane: How is this--?

Lex Luthor: No, don't question a miracle. We're together again. That's all that matters.

Lois Lane: What? What? No. No, I could never . . .

Lex Luthor: Well, I've fallen from grace, haven't I? I can see it in your eyes. But surely a creature of such abundant benevolence would allow me a chance to redeem myself.

Lois Lane: I don't have those feelings for you anymore.

Lex Luthor: I don't believe you.

Lois Lane: How could you expect . . .? After everything you've done.

Lex Luthor: Well, yes, I did terrible things, but I did them for you. I was provoked by the blinding light of your beauty. But if you can't forgive me, then here . . . [Lex holds out a cell phone to Lois, offering her to take it.] Call the police. Go ahead, call.

[Lois looks down. She is not going to call.]

Lex Luthor: You do fell something for me.

Lois Lane: No. I just feel maybe you've suffered enough.

[Lois Lane walks away.]

[Instead of going on their first date, Lois Lane and Clark Kent go to a stakeout together, assigned to do so by Perry White. They give the Pearl Jam tickets to Jimmy Olsen, who takes his girlfriend Angela. Lois and Clark are both very attracted to each other while they are on the stakeout. But nothing happens between them in a romantic physical sense. Lois orders Chinese take-out food from Ralphs Pagoda, and the food causes her to have an upset stomach. Intestinal sickness does NOT make for a romantic evening. So even though Lois had suggested that they might call the stakeout assignment their "almost first date," it really doesn't turn out that way. They end the episode having NOT gone out on their "first date" (unless one counts various work-related events such as journalism awards ceremonies which they have attended together in previous episodes).]

Timecode: 34 minutes, 25 seconds:

Lois Lane: Ohhh. I should've known better than to order Chinese food from a place called Ralph's Pagoda.

[Lois Lane is laying on the couch, clearly having stomach pain.]

Clark Kent: Here.

[Clark steps away from the window where he is surveiling the subject of their stakeout and puts a pillow under Lois Lane's head.]

Lois Lane: Thanks, Clark. Some first date, huh?

[Clark rubs Lois Lane's stomach.]

Clark Kent: It's okay.

Lois Lane: I don't feel good. I'm so embarrassed.

Clark Kent: Don't worry about it. You should turn in. You can sleep in the bedroom.

Lois Lane: Oh, I don't think I can make it to the bedroom.

Clark Kent: Come on.

[Clark picks Lois up off the couch and carries her to the door to the bedroom. Clutching her stomach, Lois goes to bed.]

Lex Luthor's plan to free Rollie Vale from prison is successful. At this point, Lex Luthor's people have also captured Lois Lane. Once Vale is brought back to Luthor's underground lair, Lex asks for the Kryptonite that was Vale's part of their deal. Vale opens a panel in his bionic arm. The Kryptonite had been hidden there the whole time. Lex Luthor holds up the Kryptonite, looking at it with obsession in his eyes.

Lex Luthor: My Excalibur.

Lois Lane: What are you gonna do with that?

Lex Luthor: I'm going to kill Superman when he comes to rescue you. And then there will be no one to take you away from me.

[Rollie Vale asks to be paid the money that was the other part of his deal with Luthor. Unfortunately, Luthor plans to double-cross Vale. Nigel holds a gun on Vale. Unfortunately, Nigel is working with Intergang - where the real money is these days - and double-crosses Luthor. Ramine and Nigel hold their weapons on Luthor, shoot Luthor in the shoulder with a dart, kill Vale, and escape.]

Lois Lane: Is he all right?

Gretchen Kelly: I'll take care of him.

Lex Luthor: [to Lois] It's all right, my love. It's just a minor setback.

[Gretchen rushes to the side of the man she loves: Lex Luthor. But she is furious when she hears his words, and realizes that Lex only loves Lois.]

Gretchen Kelly: [To Lois] Stay away!

[Gretchen pushes Lois into the rat pit.]

Lex Luthor: Lois!

Gretchen Kelly: Lex. Lex, she doesn't love you.

Lex Luthor: Lois, give me your hands!

Gretchen Kelly: She never loved you.

Lex Luthor: Give me your hands!

Gretchen Kelly: [to Lex] I sacrificed everything to bring you back.

Lex Luthor: Reach!

Gretchen Kelly: I love you!

Lex Luthor: [to Gretchen] I'll kill you!

[Lex Luthor shoves Gretchen away. Gretchen is hurled a few feet across the room into a high voltage electrical panel. The electrical shock she receives from it kills her. Superman arrives and flies Lois out of the rat pit. Lex Luthor chuckles.]

Superman: Maybe you'd like to let me in on the joke.

Lex Luthor: Me. I'm the joke. Twice I've had the chance to kill you, twice the game has gone your way.

Superman: The game is over, Luthor.

Lex Luthor: No. I'll not give the satisfaction of taking me alive.

[Luthor rushes to go grab the high voltage lines that killed Gretchen. Lex Luthor intends to kill himself rather than be captured by Superman. But Superman uses his heat vision to destroy the high voltage lines before Lex Luthor can reach them. Lex Luthor is thus unable to kill himself.]

Superman: Sorry, Luthor, but killing yourself is the easy way out. You can't cheat justice twice.

Lex Luthor: Oh, so smug. Tell him, Lois. Tell him that once you really loved me.

[Lois says nothing. Her face tells Lex Luthor that she never truly loved him. Lex Luthor looks heartbroken to realize this.]

Timecode: 44 minutes, 39 seconds: Superman apprehends Luthor and puts him in jail. Cut to a close-up on the next day's Daily Planet front page. The headline reads: "LUTHOR ALIVE AND BEHIND BARS! Superman Thwart's Luther's Suicide Attempt."

[Oddly enough, the headine in this shot has Lex Luthor's last name misspelled as "Luther."]

Perry White: [reading this front page story] Well, I thought I'd never see the day. Huh. You think there's hope for Elvis?

[Jimmy Olsen and Perry White chuckle lightly at what Perry said. But Perry White is only half-joking here. He really would like to see Elvis Presley come back to life. There is a part of Perry that believes, somehow, that Elvis still is alive. For Perry, seeing Elvis again would be something akin to the Christians he was raised among seeing the second coming of Jesus Christ.]

The process of listing characters who appeared in this source is not yet complete. Webpage for Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - Season 2, Episode 13 (12 Feb. 1995) created 24 January 2008. Last modified 11 June 2014.

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